Them Feels

What's odd about having a houseful of kids at different ages, yet all, still, quite small, is that a milestone for one is very different from another.

My son has started to find words.
Learning to talk has been one of my favorite things about having kids, as I personally find it's when their true personalities start to sneak out.
Sure, it's fairly evident that he's already a comedian and serious flirt, but now that he's just starting to discover words, I'm sure the scope of his humor and charm will come to fruition.
He's loud, too.  When I bring him to the gym with me, there's almost always a time that he's joyfully shouting and reaches his arms out, which coincidentally turns out to be the time I need a little push.

Ellie has started preschool and although she's been talking for a few years, the sentences just keep getting longer, and funnier.
She is our first "girly girl".
Whatever that may mean.
To us, it means she's the first kid at our house to be interested in hair, fingernails, dresses and anything pink.
She adores the word, "wonderful!", which is a strangely regal word, so I'm not sure if she's destined to actually live in a castle one day, or perhaps just drink a lot of tea.
If only her hair would grow.  She starts ballet on Friday and I've instructions for a classic bun, to be worn to each class.
Her hair won't go into a ponytail.  On the top of her head.  Or barrettes.
We'll have to manage with a nice headband, maybe.

Now, for the reason behind this post.
My oldest gal has been in Grade one for two weeks.
I'm not the most prepared Mom out there, but I always, always have a back up plan.
My backup plan was to put her into another year of kindergarten this year.
She isn't five until December, so it wasn't unreasonable.
But she doesn't need another year.

Tonight, as I read books to her and Ellie, I didn't actually read at all.
I lay there, beside Audrey, as she read, and silently let tears roll down my cheek.
Even right now, as I think about my big kid, reading, I get choked up.

Of all the milestones, this one is blowing my freakin' mind.
Crawling, walking, talking.
Huge, important milestones, and also, rather essential to living.
But this, this whole reading business.
Man.
That's about all I can say about that.

I lay there, with wet cheeks, watching her still chubby little hands hold the book, sounding out the tough words and easily moving through the sight words, or simpler ones, mispronouncing night as niket, and I was in awe.

She is an incredible little person, and on the days, aw, who am I kidding, everyday, when I think I'm doing nothing right, and I'm causing them to someday have nothing but ticks and bad memories, I lay between my kids, who surely have been tyrants all day long, and think that I have the most blessed life on earth.
One of them is reading, by herself, to me and her sister, who stops, after the book is read, and tells her big sister that she loves her before slinging her arm across her, and then they both start excitedly telling me two different stories, at the same time, not caring that no words can be deciphered in all the loud, jumbled conversations.

Man.
That's about all I can say about that.