2016 Resolve

I wish I didn't feel the need to justify the life I lead.
Anyone else sometimes feel like they're having to give reasons why they've made their choices?

I don't agree with every choice my loved ones make.
That's perfectly fine.  Normal, even.
But it's not my life to live, so unless I'm being asked for input, then I'll just shut my trap.
Also, why should it matter what I think?  And therefore, what is it any of my business to comment?

It's hard to find value in a piece of unsolicited advice, given by someone who has never walked in my shoes.
That being said, I'm a very emotional person and I tend to carry around all advice like baggage.
I'm tired and sore from this historical practice, and I'd like to unload a little bit.
Or a lot.

I spend a lot of time in the gym, and in my running shoes.  Sometimes the kids are with me, and I really love that because I think it's so great for them to see their Mom, and sometimes a bunch of other Moms, kicking serious ass, and taking control of their health.  I also try to take them running with me, because not only is it a bit of extra resistance for me, but the fresh air tires them out, and again, they're seeing a fabulous example of how to make fitness a normal daily activity.

But sometimes I leave them with a babysitter, or my husband.
I sometimes pay for childcare for an hour or so to myself.
How is that any different from paying to get your haircut?  Or nails done?  Or go shopping?

Spending time on my health and body is not about vanity.
I'm aware that it may seem that way to someone on the out looking in, but it has little to do with how my clothes fit and loads to do with how my mind feels, and how that affects my day to day life.

It can be especially hard to get in a workout after a few days or weeks of lousy sleeps, or nights where we end up with five in the bed, often before midnight, but it's on these days, that for my personal calm and serenity, I must make the time, even for a 30 minute run, to be alone.

What I'm tired of, is feeling like I have to justify this time.
No one's demanding that I prove to them, the reasons I spend so much time on my fitness, but I'm old and wise enough to know that many judgments are made about my lifestyle.

I do not judge any other parents' choices.
I don't.

You do whatever the hell it is you need to do to survive the years where your children are dependent on you.
And then after that, how about just continue to do you.

I will not judge your life.
Sometimes we need to vent about our choices, and that's OK, but don't dwell.
If you find you're complaining about the same thing over and over again, maybe change it.

But I ain't gonna be the one to suggest that.
I'm an extreme introvert, and I truly believe that it's none of my business, because, to be honest, I hardly have the energy to deal with my own business.

Still not going to judge, though.
Being a parent is hard.
Making choices for your family.  Hard.
Hard in and of itself, that we don't also need to feel as though we should justify those choices to someone who hasn't a clue what it's like.

My 2016 resolution is to worry about me, and not about what others think of me.
For me, this will be very challenging, but I'm hoping, also freeing.