Some Other Kind of Blues

I'm sitting at the computer, eating cottage cheese right out of the container.
Mostly because the alternative is to eat the roll of cookie dough that's in the fridge.

The baby blues are a common and accepted reality for many Moms.
I was good and prepared to have some kind of post partum depression after each one of my babies, but I never suffered from it.

What I feel might deserve a name, though, is the toddler blues.  The grade-school blues.  The I-have-three-kids-and-some-days-I'm-drowning blues.

Somehow I feel that once we've "made it" through the sleepless nights and completely dependent baby stage, that us Moms must be alright now. 
"You've muddled through those tough first months, and now you're good, so go forth and be excellent".
But lots, and lots (I mean lots) of days are far from excellent.

Some days I just want to be alone.
Many days I would do anything for them to not whine MOMMY even once.
You can ask for me, call for me even, but the constant screaming and/or crying MOMMY is enough to drive me to drink.
(If you are getting through all of this without drinking, then you are a certified hero.  Seriously.)

I've been really stressed since the fire.
I feel like once we become Moms there's a low level of stress that simply comes along with the gig.
That's OK.
That's normal and I can deal with that because it's been there since the beginning.

This additional stuff, though, has been heavy.
My IHaveTos are feeling really, really heavy lately.
Weighing me down.  Making me sad.
And I can admit that.
I'm struggling.
I'm asking for help and my white knights are showing up.
Grateful doesn't come close to the feeling I have when Grandma shows up to whisk one of the heathens away.

I did not suffer from PPD or baby blues, but I think maybe I am suffering from some other kind of Mom-induced blues and I'm comfortable enough to ask for help, and then to go take care of myself.  Depression can be debilitating and all-consuming, but I'm hoping that some early actions will keep me in the game, because these little people need me and I'm more than willing to model good mental health, which sometimes means that assistance is required.

Now excuse me, please, while I first don my own air mask...