How About You?

I've had 16 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours.

It's OK though.  The kids get it, and I'm sure they'll be on best behaviour...
(They won't, by the way, if you were actually thinking they would try to go easy on me...)

I've worked two evening shifts, with middle of the night call backs,  followed directly by two 12 hour shifts at a casino, an hour away, as a big preschool fundraiser.  I do everything I can to help, where I can...
But I'm spent.  Wiped.  And unfortunately, the rest of my "have to" list is still there waiting for me.

Here's how a very small portion of a typical day goes...I will point out that we do not do very many activities, so if we did, you could throw chauffeuring kids around to hockey/skating/soccer/dance/piano etc. into the mix there...

Here goes...

Up at 7.  Get kids breakfast, dressed, brushed and on bus.  Clean up breakfast.  Dress Sterling...wait!  Make sure ipad is charged and snacks are packed.  Head to gym.  Take one, glorious, hour, to escape, keep my body healthy and try to set a positive tone for the day.  Pick up groceries to prep for our girl guide Halloween treat for this evening.  OH!  And maybe grab a few groceries for my own family too.  Pick up Ellie from school.  Head home to make lunch.  Unpack backpack and lunch kit.  Start laundry...wait, put kids clothes away so you have a basket to use...wait, no,  tidy kids rooms so there is somewhere for you to sit to put clothes away and so the clutter of the house isn't just another thing cluttering your mind...make your own bed.  Clean up lunch. Finally get laundry into washing machine.  Jump in for quick rinse off and then get kids outside to play.  Have to list is running in background of brain...Must remember to print and fill out Sparks forms and money for Ellie's sleepover.  Also, remember to switch dayshift so you can go to Remembrance Day celebration with Brownies and newly re-elected husband,.  Find forms for own Brownie group for our upcoming sleepover.  Finally submit receipts for all the things you've bought for Brownies.  Think, I had no idea volunteering would cost so much money...hang on!...check schedule.  Doesn't Ellie have an immunization appointment coming up?  Right!  There it is.  Oct 30.  I'm a bad Mom.  That's the day before Halloween.  OH!  RIGHT!  Must do licencing for work before Oct 31 or you'll be paying an additional $50...crap...what are my continuing ed goals going to be for this year?  Have I completed last years?  Noooo....so, I'll just slip that onto the calendar...and I should see if Blake can format my preschool lists to make sign out sheets for the football pull tickets...is that Friday?  Yes.  Must remember to go sign out tickets Friday.  I should call and follow up on the printing of those tickets, too.  I think I'm working this weekend.  Ugh.  Pick up shifts, because, y'know, bills and stuff...and I need to meet my competition partner Thursday to go through the workouts...Have you tracked your macros today?  How much water have you had?  What time is it anyways?

This is absolutely a complaining post.  No two ways about it.  I'm complaining about the fact that I am an idiot, and I can't say no, and I am just trying my damnedest to be a good Mom, a good wife, look after myself, and contribute to my community as a volunteer.  I know I need to learn to say no.  But who else will step up?  Balance is a lifelong struggle, and some days are much harder.  Like today...


And then, I think, why am I feeling so overwhelmed?

So hard to understand.

So hard...