Oh Me Nerves!

It is the eve before my first race post-Ellie.
And I'm nervous.
It's a feeling most, if not all runners are familiar with.
My stomach is in knots and my mind is going over the possible race scenarios.
By morning I will be a bundle of crazy anxiety and until my race is done, I won't feel like myself.
Now, I have run countless races and run countless L-O-N-G training runs, but each and every time I am scheduled to run 10km or more, I get nervous!
I know, without a doubt, that my body can do this distance, but I still, every time get nervous.
For me, it's what makes me feel like a runner.  A real, bonified runner.
I know that lots of runners will never cross a finish line, and that doesn't make them any less of a runner.  But personally, the thrill of standing like a herd of cattle in a start line corral (true name - not made up!) is a feeling like no other.

I know, and I can tell anyone who's contemplating doing their first race, that if you register for the race, put in the miles and get your rear to the start line, that you will finish.
And the medal that will be placed around your neck at the end of the race cannot compare to the pride you will carry with you forever.
The race numbers, timing chips, last minute bathroom breaks - they're all part of the nerves, and ultimately, the race experience.
Until you've stood in a long line of runners at a single porta potty in a 300 participant race, you have not pushed your nerves to their fraying threshold.
It is exhilarating to hear the gun or the tone to signal the beginning of the race, and then feel the crowd's excitement as the people start surging forward.
I always reflect on the runners in the crowd who may be running their first race, or their first 5km ever, or 10km ever, and can't help but feel inspired.
This is what sparked my own temptation to run a marathon, and I am definitely feeling it again!
To step foot over the furthest distance you've ever done - 11km, past your first 10 or 22km, past your first 21 is such a unique feeling and unfortunately, one that cannot be duplicated.
Having done a marathon, I know that I can do the distance - just as I know I can do the distance tomorrow, yet I sometimes miss the feeling of running further than I ever have before.

I guess it might be time for a 50km race?

Some Wisdom for my Monkey Girls...

When a woman imagines herself with her future children, often she has an image of what and who these children will be.
I've always known I wanted children, however my image always included two boys.
When Audrey was born and my husband announced that it was a SHE, no one was more shocked than me.  I truly felt with every fibre of my being that we were coming home with an Owen, and I can honestly say that bringing home a little girl was one of the most incredible, beautiful moments of my life.  What a special gift to have a little sugar and spice of my own!
Imagine my surprise when during our mid-pregnancy ultrasound, we learned we were to have another beautiful daughter!  My image couldn't have been more wrong!  And yet I count myself so incredibly lucky to have two amazingly stunning girls!
Now, being a girl myself, I feel that I've got a little bit of life experience (31+ years to be exact!) that I want to pass on to my girls.
I will never, ever call myself an expert on anything because there is always something to be learned from someone else, and the process of learning is what makes life interesting.
I want to share some lessons I've learned along my own journey with my girls.
This, of course, is a work in progress.

Dear Audrey & Ellie,
These are my own personal words for you.  These are not rules.  I only want to share with you some things I've learned that have enriched my life.

• Dr.Seuss is a great and knowledgable teacher.

"Be who you are say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.".
This is REALLY great advice, and only a small taste of the abundance Dr.Seuss has to offer.

• Listen.

And listen well.  This skill will not fail you.  People love to talk, but genuine listening is getting lost amongst the words.

• Be confident.  You are an amazing individual.  I know this because you are and will be surrounded by amazing individuals who only want the best for you.  Confidence will be your most beautiful attribute.  Not everyone is in your corner, but I hope you will learn not to listen to negatrons (as your Dad calls them!).

• Love many.  Trust few.  Always paddle your own canoe.

My own Mother, your Nana, gave me this advice many times during my childhood.  It boils down to giving your love freely, but not being naive.  You will learn, that few people truly have your best interests at heart.  That's ok, because you will be a strong, independent woman.

• Don't sweat the small stuff.  This is a piece of advice that can be very difficult to take!  I still struggle with this - please don't ever hesitate to remind me!  If it will not matter in 5 years, then it will not matter.  Let it go.  It will bring you peace.

• Practice humility and empathy.  The world is full of people. Be considerate of others, always.   It is not always about you and no one owes you anything, so be a good citizen of the world.  You will get what you give.

• Be friendly and smile.  Lots.  

You will be judged within moments of meeting someone.  A generally happy demeanor and a genuine smile will speak much louder than any introduction.  You never have to wear makeup.  Ever.  Unless you want to.  Because a smile is all anyone will see on your beautiful face, if you wear it sincerely.

• Do not spend your days trying to be right.  Life is not about proving yourself and when one person is right, then another is wrong.  Just be confident and let others do the right-fighting.  You will have better things to do with your time and efforts.

• Be present.  This simply means that what has happened cannot be changed and what will happen cannot be controlled.  All you have is now.  Right now.  So make it count.

Finally, I love you.
Simply and in a way that I can never fully put into words.  You have made my life more full than I ever dreamed it could be.  Please remember that when you have a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.  Or week.  Or year.  Your Daddy and I love you unconditionally and of all the little girls in all the whole world, we got the two best ones.  How could we be so crazy lucky?!

Seriously.  HOW did we get so lucky!?!?

XOXO  Mommy