Entering the Race, the Mompetition

Whether we have children or not, it seems that we have an opinion on parenting.

When you have no children, you have no chips in the pot, so to speak, and therefore there are no consequences for what you say.
We've all said, "I'll never do that when I have kids!", or "My kid will never be like that!".
If you do, or do not have children and you've said or thought something along these lines, do yourself a favour and stop.

The fastest lesson I ever learned once my first little person arrived, was to  never say never.  Never.
You have no idea how you're going to deal once the kids arrive.  You.  Have.  No.  Idea.

At the end of the day, you are going to make choices for your children that you and your hubby, or partner, or maybe just you, have to live with.  There are going to be times you wish you had made a different choice, but we do the best we can with what we have at the time.  The toughest thing about parenting is never knowing what the right answer or decision is, and I think that when this thought runs through your head, you are evolving and that makes you a good Mom.  If we are always questioning ourselves, then we are always trying to be better, and even though it would be easier to just blindly trust that every choice we've made was the perfect one, it is more natural to be skeptical and critical of ourselves.

I've been reading a lot about "Mom Shaming" and nothing infuriates me more than this.

The fact that one woman can think that she's superior to another because of the choices she happened to make, is unthinkable.
Having children is the hardest thing we will ever do.  If it's easy, you're doing it wrong.
None of us needs to be criticized for our parenting choices, because trust me when I say, we're already doing that ourselves.

Mom Shaming comes in many forms, unfortunately.  Everything from our parenting choices to our choice in school, to our post-baby bodies can be the target of Mom Shaming.

I'm including a post I read on Facebook awhile ago that struck a chord with me and I want to share it again because no matter what choices you make, you are a great Mom and you do need to have faith in that.  And also, be understanding of other Moms' decisions, even if it's not the ones you might make.

Maybe we can stop "Mompeting" and collaborate?
Idealistic?  Maybe...

Why Would Anyone DO That?!?!

I just dropped off the big kid at school and came home to put down the small one for a nap.

The big one runs into the classroom when the door opens without even looking back.
So when I was putting the small one down for her nap, I snuggled her for a lot little longer than I normally would.

I stared at her as she softly snored in my arms.  Feeling nothing but love.

I could never, ever get tired of that.

If you ask anyone how I feel about this pregnancy, they would probably tell you that I already feel overwhelmed.
And I do.
I keep saying, "Why would anyone do this?  Why would anyone have three, THREE children!?"
I'm not naive.  I know that bringing another little person into our family will absolutely be overwhelming.
I've had people tell me that we're going to have out hands full.

If they think we're going to have our hands full, they should see our hearts.

I think that there are days that I will be so tired I'll be teetering all day long.  Just barely keeping afloat.  I know that I will likely yell a little bit more for a few months while my patience is constantly run out before 9am, because I've had another night with next to no sleep.

I think that I will also have days that I simply cannot believe that this is my life.  Who does this?  Who gets to have three amazing, beautiful children and an awesome, supportive husband?  And we all get to live under one roof?!?!

I am consciously trying to enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy.  I'm doing my best not to feel sad or disappointed about my body, the one that is growing a person.  A miraculous human being.  I am enjoying the movements, for the most part and I am remembering that at no other time in my life, will I be able to blame the scale on something TOTALLY legitimate!  I want to cherish and love this time, because although I definitely have moments when I'm "done", I need to focus on what's happening and have faith that my body will return, in time, and with hard work, and that my family will adjust to this new chapter, eventually.

I am so excited to get to the training and racing, but I know that I need to stop and focus on my family too, and if I can involve them in the training and racing, I'm golden.
I don't want to cheat my children out of anything because I am too short-sighted to see that their lives are happening as well.  Yet I know that I would be doing them no service if I didn't pursue my own dreams, while simultaneously being their Mom.

That's some kinda balance, wouldn't 'ya say?

I've got a ton of support, sometimes in the form of opinions and advice, but I'm trying to see it as encouragement and not disapproval or criticism.
Our family will be enduring a challenging adjustment in the coming months, so if I'm nearly absent, pardon me and know that my phone will be piling up with audio blog ideas!

I snapped a quick pic of the small one after I put her down in her crib to nap.
Is she not one of the most beautiful creatures you ever saw!?!
(She's also funny as hell and a pure joy to be around!)

I'm always so happy when they're sleeping!  ;p