Monday 24 August 2015

Self Pride

I am so very proud of my own accomplishments.

It has taken me a very, very long time to be able to pat myself on the back.

Being on the receiving side of a complimentary statement has been difficult for me, and I find myself trying very hard to say, thank you, and not offer up some self-deprecating side note as to how or why I got here.

And I had to dig deep, to figure out, that I'm doing this for me, above all.

I am proud of myself.
I have self pride.
And I don't need anyone's approval, or disapproval, for that matter, because I have to lead my life.
I have to do, me.
But I feel guilt.
Because I'm supposed to put my family first.

Why can't we be selfish?

There is a lot of judgment when one puts themselves first.

My health, now and long term, is incredibly important to me.

If I don't look after myself now, how can I expect this body to hold out for the long haul?

I guess the answer is, I can't.
I can't expect this body to endure years of neglect, and in my later life, rely on it to perform, and be healthy enough for me to enjoy life, and my adult children, and hopefully, grandchildren!

So, I'm doing the upkeep and maintenance now, with the expectation that my body will be healthy, or at least healthier, when I am aging.

And to do so, I must sometimes be selfish.

I live my life for me, but in doing so, I'm a healthier Mom and wife.
My body can keep up with my kids.
I can play on the park with them.
I can pick them up, and hold them for long lengths of time, and carry them, when they are tired.
My mind is balanced because I exercise, which makes me a happier wife, too!
Ask my husband, who knows when to kick my rear out the door for a run when I'm turning into a dark and dangerous rain cloud!

I'm aware that lots of women do not choose the path that I've chosen, and that's just fine!
I cannot offer insight into anyone's life but my own, and we are all doing the best we can, with what we have, but in my own experience, trying to be healthy has been most beneficial to myself, but also to my family, and I can only hope that my good habits will rub off on my littles!

Having goals is one of the habits I hope they pick up, but knowing that not meeting their goals isn't failure, is a life lesson I hope they take away, too.

I make goals continuously.
Once one has been met, I'm typically already moving onto a new one.

I registered for the Edmonton marathon earlier this year.
I realized that training for the full marathon was going to monopolize many family holidays over the summer, and decided that they'd sacrificed enough already while I had trained for the Goofy race, so I dropped into the half marathon.

In July, while we were on holidays, I discovered a bump on my heel.
It was uncomfortable only after I'd been running for an hour or so, and I ignored the pain.

I had a feeling, even before I started physio, (for my achilles tendinopathy as it turns out), that I wouldn't be running any half marathon this summer.
And yesterday, as I poured over everyone's race photos, and stories, I was really, really bummed.

I had hoped to run a sub 2 hour half marathon yesterday, and instead of running anyways, and pushing myself beyond my limits, and risking injury, I opted to spend the morning at the Cameron family Olympics with my loved ones.

My younger self would have run in spite of the pain.
A less mature version of me, wouldn't have been able to stand the disappointment of not running.
But this new me, knows that a relatively minor injury can become a much bigger problem in around 2 hours 10 minutes, or the time I would have likely clocked yesterday, worse for the wear and not even close to meeting my goal.

I've got a half marathon in California in November, that I'll be running in costume and alongside my Dad, again, and I'll be healed and in excellent form for that.

After that, I'm planning to shift my focus onto lifting heavier weights and doing less steady state cardio, so I'm not literally, running my ass off!
This will be a whole new ball game for me, but I'm excited to see what my body can do, while I'm busy looking after me!



















Thursday 13 August 2015

80:20

Every week, I'm given another chance to make my percentages work in my favor.

Every week, for me, is usually Monday(ish), and I have 100%.
I start with 100%.
Every day, every moment, every choice, starts with 100%.
From there, I can gauge how "on" I've been.
I've never, ever been 100% "on", 100% of the time, but when I am most successful, I am around 85-90% "on", on average, for the week.

Some weeks, when there are birthdays, and get-togethers and I just don't friggin' feel like making wise choices, I may have a 40% week.

As long as I'm comfortable with the consequences of a 40% week, (read:gaining) then it's an OK choice for me to make.
Most of the time, I'm not okay with throwing away my hard work, so I strive for at least 60%.

And for me, 60% is maintenance.

To be honest, I usually think of every day as 100%.
I find it easier to split my day up into 80, or 85 or 90%, but some days are super duper great days and can make up for the not-so-great days.

Losing weight is hard.
It's hard, because you have to be incredibly patient, and diligent and committed.

That 40% week?  The one that likely had some extra hormones involved?
It might see several pounds of gain on the scale.

But I'm sure you've heard it before, and I'll say it here again.

THE SCALE IS A LYING BITCH.

Usually when you haven't made excellent choices, there was some fat and salt involved.
Salt = Bloat.

No one can possibly gain 7 pounds in a week, unless they're have a really, really good time.
Or pregnant.
Or both.

So the point is, be patient.
It takes hard work, and discipline and a long damn time.

But it WILL happen.
You get out what you put in.
Half time work, will produce half time results.

Which means it might take a little longer, but that's juuuuuuuuuust fine, because the results are for life.
Gaining didn't happen overnight, and neither will losing.

Make the percentages count.