Thursday 21 February 2013

Soul Freedom

Cliques.  Bullies. Drama.
Didn't you think that after high school you'd leave it all behind?
I did!
But guess what?  These people exist throughout the course of our lives.
Being able to just be grateful for what we have and not worry about these happenings going on around us is something that can bring peace and contentment in our day to day lives.
But it's definitely not easy.
Do I wish that losing weight was easier?
Yep.
Do I wish that I had nicer hair or skin?
You betcha.
Do I wish that I could keep in better touch with my friends and family?
Of course!
I have been dealt these cards and really, at the end of the day, I have a pretty fantastic life and if the hardest obstacle for me to overcome is my weight, then that's petty in comparison to the challenges that many others face.

I know that everyone has endured something in their lives that has caused them hurt and pain.
I'm no different.
As I get older, I am coming to terms with the fact that I cannot control other people, but I can control how I react.

This is not a new concept, however, to truly live this, brings a personal peace like no other.
To be able to forgive people, especially without them knowing, can free your soul and take a huge, invisible weight off your shoulders.

I find it exhausting to continue to use my brain space on people and things that I do not value.  I need to let go of parts of my past that leave me heavy chested and stressed.
I recall a saying that goes along the lines of, the best revenge is to live a good life.
Revenge for what?  Is that even the right word?
How about, live a good life.
Period.
Why does it need to be an in your face kind of thing?  The bullies and the cliques and the drama will always be there.  Live a great life anyway.

I'm sure as I get older and gain life experience, I will look back on moments that seemed life changing at the time, and see them as trivial and juvenile.
But even this is a personal choice, and essentially, a reaction to a circumstance.
I thought that high school drama would be left in high school and that the older I got, the further it would be left behind, but each person is entitled to live their own life and some people either enjoy their life and some maybe can't let go of the past.
I used to view people who were 5 or 10 or 15 years older than me, as more mature.
I guess I just assumed that, but again, as I get older, I'm learning that maturity is not a guarantee or a rite of passage, but rather a choice to wake up, each day, and live a good life.

So many of the hardest lessons in life are also the most worthy and rewarding.  And of course, it won't be easy to learn these lessons or we wouldn't put much value in them!
I know in my own life I struggle to focus on myself and my family and I find myself worrying about "the small stuff".
I also know that when I DO focus on my highest values, I feel good.  I feel focused and powerful and clear.
And I know that my soul is freed.
Because I let it be.



Thursday 14 February 2013

Love Letters

To our super sweet Audrey,
 I want to take this time to tell you what a beautiful, intelligent, funny young lady you're becoming.
Since the moment you were placed into our arms, you have brought your Daddy and I more joy than we thought our hearts could hold.
You inspire us to be our best selves and you have made our purpose in life seem obvious.
I absolutely adore you and being your Mom is an honor.
I hope that you continue to grow and explore and that you're never afraid to take the step beyond your comfort zone, because even if you happen to stumble, your Daddy and I will always be waiting to catch you.
I certainly don't need a holiday to tell you these things, however Valentine's Day was a good deadline for me to post about the crazy amount of love I feel for you.
XOXO
Forever and always, you'll have our whole hearts
Mommy & Daddy

To our feisty and fearless Ellie,
You have been apart of our family for less than a year and it is already impossible to imagine what our lives must have been like before you!
You truly are the happiest girl on the planet and although you definitely keep us on our toes way more than we needed to be with your older sister, we love you in a way that words cannot quite capture.
I simply can't wait to watch you and your sister grow up and I'm so happy that your Dad and I will get to be a part of it all.
Please know that we love you and cherish you so very much and you will always be our little girl.
XOXO
We love you bigger than Texas
Mommy & Daddy

And finally,

To my Blake,
I'm never quite sure how to tell you how I feel about you, because I assume that you know, but just in case you didn't...
Since the day I met you - March 22, 2007, I knew you were different.  Special.  Meant for me.
You have made my life spectacular.  I have never treasured or valued anything more than you.
Even after six years (six?!  Really?!), I am in awe of your ambition, drive and tenacity.
You are an incredible man and I feel so proud and contented to be your wife.
When I see you with our daughters, it brings instant tears to my eyes and warms my heart right up through my chest.  My love and joy can't be contained because I find myself smiling at the most random times, every day, just at the thought of my beautiful life.
Thank you for loving me, fiercely.  I have never once doubted your love for me and that is the greatest gift I have ever received.
I love you today more than I have ever loved another and to know that I get to love you for the rest of my life is absolutely something to look forward to.
I can't wait to watch our girls grow into the lovely young women I know they're destined to become.
And then I can't wait to grow up with you.
We have a great life together.

I love you.  Always.
Heather


Monday 11 February 2013

No Diets Allowed.


I was sweeping the floor today and happened to find a blue M&M in the pile.
Correction.
Audrey found the blue M&M.
And then she ate it.

We're a resourceful bunch.
There was a time in my life when I made sure that my house was clean so that Audrey (I say Audrey because that time is sooooooooo over, like, it was over WAY before Ellie was ever even a consideration) didn't get dirty playing or put some inanimate object into her mouth.
Now, so long as neither one of the girls are currently, physically choking on something, I consider my house clean.
It's amazing how cleaning standards can fall a little bit once you get married, because, let's face it, you got him.
And then they fall a few more steps once your first little person arrives because you just simply don't have the time or energy to maintain a impeccable clean tidy home, and really, you have the absolute best excuse for having a messy home - a newborn!
Now, by the time your second bundle of awesome-ness comes home, your first is at a stage where toys are simply objects to be dumped from their homes and left on the floor.
For the maid Mom to clean up.
So, really, why even bother?

This post is not intended for me to confess about how untidy my house is (literally, as I sit here, my coffee table has a juicebox, 3 magazines, a photo album, an iPad, a staple remover (what?), a water bottle AND a build-a-bear on it), so I am going to get to the point...soon.

At our challenge meeting last week, we spoke about how we are teaching the next generation about how it's all or nothing, and this does not apply only to our eating habits.  This messed up mentality is spilling over into other areas of our lives.
I want to address only the subject of food, because if I start talking about other things like housecleaners and toddler schedules and vacations, I will get off onto a crazy tangent.

We spoke about how our young people, and I hesitate to say girls in particular, because I think that boys are becoming affected more and more, are growing up in a world where many parents are either not concerned with nutrition in the least, or they're borderline obsessed with it.
How do we create a healthy balance?
How do we teach our children that there is no "bad" food, just "red light" food, as my own Mother teaches her second graders?
How do we emphasize that eating healthy, fresh, nutritious food is as enjoyable as the birthday party cupcake?
I want for my 'cupcake' to not worry about eating
an occasional cupcake!
This, I truly believe, is the greatest nutritional obstacle in parenting.
I want to be able to raise children who will make wise choices because it's good for their bodies but also because they enjoy it!  And I would also like for them to be able to enjoy their vacation, or their birthday party or Easter morning egg hunts, because they're not worrying about the calories.
Obviously, I'm still learning how to create this balance myself, so to be able to be a good example for my children is an even bigger work in progress, however I really do hope that one day our whole family has this balance, and without much thought.

I have been participating in this challenge for several weeks now and I already consider myself a clean eater.  It has come so easily to me and felt so natural, that I really won't consider every living any other way.
It's such a simple concept, and yet I do have to think about what I'm putting into my body.  I think that's what sets this way of eating apart from many others.  There will never be a completely thoughtless meal.  Each time, I am considering what I'm eating.  I am planning to succeed and I am planning to continue to be successful.
I recently purchased new jeans which have a waist size that starts with a 2, not a 3 - which is a first for me in a L-O-N-G time (if ever?) and I also purchased a new shirt in a size medium.  Medium!?
I know that the ultimate goal of all of this really isn't about the numbers or the sizes, but I can't help but be excited in the small victories.  The small victories are what will get me to the biggest one, and that's something.