Sunday 16 December 2018

The Big Buy In

I took my kids to Candle Lake, Saskatchewan this summer.

This place is truly magical.  Like, as soon as we're driving down the short stretch to my Grandma's cabin, I am warm, and filled with excitement, and I love so much that I get to share this little gem of a place with my family.

I felt so grateful, and content on that trip.  As if, of all the places we could be in the whole world, it was there that we were meant to be. I don't often feel like that.  I'm often driving kids here and there and everywhere and getting groceries for the 14th time in 5 days, and there are loads of mundane tasks I do that do not make me feel quite so grateful, but, during that week, I just felt, joy.

I don't live a perfect life.  There's lots of stress on my shoulders, and I have to wade through the same stank as everyone else, but in general, and most of the time, I am happy, and I work really hard for the life I live, and I work really hard to feel the way I do.  Joy is not effortless.

I spend a fair amount of time and money maintaining my wellness.  I have never, over the 20 years I've been doing this, felt one ounce of regret over this.  Not one.

I'm coming up to 40, and my views are changing, on life.  Things can change in a hot damn minute, and your kick at the can is over, and you never got a chance to debate it with the Big Guy upstairs.  It's real, and it's there, and if I don't take care of my body, my kick could be cut short, and there's a whole lot more livin' I'd like to do.

I don't mean to go down a dark path, but this is reality, and in my line of work, I see a lot of folks who are floating through their lives, waiting.  Waiting for things to get better, for something to change, for the healthcare system to heal them.  Waiting.

Aside from a period of depression I muddled through in my 20s, I can say, with certainty, that I have been a decisive captain, and held the steering wheel and guided myself to where I am.  I have done the work.  I have made things happen, and I choose to be happy with what I have, and I love the life I lead.  I have bought in BIG.  I am buying into the BIGGEST gamble.  My own life.

I am invested, and I feel like if more people were content with themselves, there might be less negativity- just in general.  Health is something that each one of us has the power to change, to improve.  My parents have joined the gym I go to, and although my Mom will say that it's not somewhere she thinks she'll ever be excited to go to, she keeps showing up.  Buying in.  Making the investment in herself.

It is NEVER too late.  Ever.  Until your can is flying through the air, you have a choice, and a chance to buy in.  The stakes are high, and it's your life on the line.  Your quality of life.