Tuesday 21 January 2014

The Grip of Motherhood

I've been slacking on my workouts.
I could make any number of excuses for why this has been happening, but in the end, they're excuses.

I got my butt out to a crossfit class on Sunday morning and I was reminded, for one hour, of who I am, outside of being a Mom and wife.

When I am in the gym, I get to have an hour to myself.  One hour to work really hard (because quality is SO much more important than quantity nowadays), one hour to work out my frustrations, to push my muscles to places they've never been, one hour to prove to myself that my body can carry and nurture babies, just as well as it can deadlift, bench press or power clean.

I was reflecting on my way home from class about how it is incredibly easy to get caught up in motherhood.  I mean this in a completely non-judgemental way, because I know many women who are the happiest they've ever been when they're immersed wholly in being a Mom.  Myself, personally, I need some time to myself to decompress, and to remember that I have goals and aspirations outside of being a Mother and wife.

Us Moms with little kids, y'know, the kids who are completely dependent on us for everything, are the most in danger of getting caught up.  From the time we they wake up, until they go to bed, we will change diapers, change clothes, do hair, make breakfast, referee, clean up, make snacks, clean up again, get naps in, do laundry...'ya get it, hey?  And it's only 9:30...
So our entire day is completely jam-packed by the seemingly trivial tasks that we bundle up neatly and call - being a Mom.

It can be very challenging to carve out time just for Mom.  Some might even call a Mother who wants 3 or 4 or 5 hours a week to workout, or train or go to a choir practice, or sewing class...GASP!  Selfish!

That's fair.  Mom's judge.  It's unavoidable.  We should all be trying to praise one another for keeping all these kids alive, day after day, but it's natural to pass a little judgement.  Just keep it to yourself, capiche?

It is a little bit selfish to ask our husband, partner, family and friends to watch our kiddies while we head out to enjoy something other than being a Mom.
But I would rather be selfish now, and as a result, also be the best Mom I can be, than look back in 18 years, and think to myself, "Now, where do I pick up where I left off 18 years ago?"
I'd like to maintain some semblance of momentum, than stop, only to have to start from 0 once the kids are grown.

I never, ever want to resent my kids.  They are beautiful and innocent, and did not, in any way, choose to be added to our family.  That is a decision their Dad and I made.  Does that make the choice to take time for myself, wrong?  No.  Would that make another Mom's choice to put her goals aside for 2 or 5 or 18 years, wrong?  No.
Our parenting choices aren't limited to choices we make only for our children.  Our parenting choices affect everyone, and every single family is entitled to make and live with their choices.  Judgement-free.

So, I'm headed to my last few crossfit classes before I switch over to bootcamp again for the rest of this pregnancy, and although I haven't run more than a couple km since my half marathon in August, I have definitely been running!  Mostly in the form of sprints - suicides, murder-suicides, relays, sled pushes - all sorts of fun activities!

I thought I'd include a picture of our track and the WOD from awhile ago, so there's proof I'm still moving my rear!
I've put on a few pounds.  Many, many, pounds.  I'm not beating myself up, but I know that my goals for 2014 and 2015 are very grand and I'll have to get right back into the grind after thing #3 arrives, so staying in shape is very important during this pregnancy.

Crossfit is defined by acronyms.
I still have no idea what most of them mean!

Even at 6 months pregnant, I can own
my heat in the sprints!  (Sometimes.)