What If??

I've been adding some runs back into my routine.
Just running.
However far I want to, whatever speed feels good, just running.
It feels so good.
Like putting on an old, worn pair of boots that just, fit.

I started out walking whenever I felt tired, or discouraged.
Being kind to ourselves sometimes comes in the form of a walk break.
Then, get back at 'er when a good, uplifting tune fires up, or I just want to get home faster!

When I'm easing back into running, I tend to walk the hills, inclines and generally any kind of slope that puts demand on my body.
Then, as the weeks go by, and I get stronger and faster, I start running those sections.
Slow, at first, then at a regular pace, and after a month or so, I might even be in the midst of a sprint interval on that same hill.

And it always begins, with "What if?"
What if I just run it this time?
So, rather than falling into a walk, I just slow my pace and run the damn hill.
Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?!

How many times do we succeed at something, simply because we had the courage to think, "What if?", rather than, "Oh, I can't do that!"

What if I can get this barbell up to my shoulders?  What if I can push through this next set of moves and not rest?  What if I can ride up this hill without stopping?

You can.

When I started running, at 15, I ran around Beacon Hill.
Still love to run around Beacon Hill!  All 4.8km of it, right boys?
Shortly after I picked up running, my Dad and brother would join me.
We would run out of our block, always turn right, then head down the hill, for a short straight stretch, then walk up the shorter, but steeper hill.

One day, after my Uncle Matthew asked why we walk only up the hill, we realized, it was just always what we'd done.
The next run, we ran the entire thing.
And all the runs after that.
And just because we were now wild and crazy, we sometimes ran left out of the block instead of right, which meant that we finished our run with a long, steady uphill climb!

We all get complacent.  It's a pretty strong individual who doesn't ever sit back on their loins at some point, and take a rest once in awhile.  We relax, lace our hands behind our heads, and relish in the work we've done.  It's just natural for us to get comfortable.  Doing something new is scary.  It's unknown, so then it's probably hard, right?  But how do you know?

I'm not a motivated individual, so obviously I'm not a motivating individual, but I would challenge anyone who's reading this sentence to try something new.  Now.  Not tomorrow, when you're feeling better, not in six months when you've lost some weight or gained some strength.  Now.  Maybe it's going outside for a 10 minute walk!  Actually, even a 5 minute one would be something new, no?!  I've hit quite a few PRs in the last year, I've smashed some goals, and I've been patting myself on the back for awhile over these accomplishments and it's time now to step away from that safe, cozy spot.  I'm going to try, and I'm going to fail.  And then I'm going to try again.

I have grown into a person who would rather make an attempt than feel regret.  Still not considering myself self-motivated, but I am goal-oriented!  I have definitely looked back on some of my earlier years and wondered what the deuce I was doing with my life, but as age will do, I've matured and I've learned that I want for this moment to be great, because I don't have control over anything else.  I want all of my today's to pave the way for the tomorrow's.  It starts with small change, but change, nonetheless. How many times have you thought to yourself, did I give that my best effort?  Did I put my best self out there?  Could I have done more?  Why did I wait?  Lots, I bet.  Me too.  I want to live my best life.  I want for my family to see that anything is possible, but, as the old saying goes, you just have to try.

Because, what if?

This is My Mother's Day

12:39AM
Today.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I just need a little help."

It's just barely Mother's Day, and also happens to be my sons' 3rd birthday, but my husband feels he needs to apologize for waking me.
Why?  Because barf-pocalypse had just occurred in my middle daughters' room.

The Mother's Day expectation is absurd, in my opinion.
I've read a few articles this week, many of which outlined "What Mom's Really Want This Mother's Day". 
I disagreed with one in particular, which began, with a bullying tone - I want to sleep in until my eyes open, I want my family to take me to brunch, I want my kids to get along, I want to be waited on hand and foot, IwantIwantIwant...and on, and on...

Has anyone ever enjoyed such a fictitious day?  Let me re-phrase, has anyone enjoyed such a fictitious day, and not had to clean up make up for it the following day?

We honor Mother's on this day.  All of them.  Inclusive.
Some Mom's are entirely alone on this day.  Who's going to take them to brunch?  On a limited budget, probably.  Get real.  There are Mother's-in-waiting, to celebrate.  There are Moms who never birthed a baby, who are raising kids.  There are Moms who have lost.  There are Moms in heaven. There are loads of Moms who are, *gasp, working today!  One friend of mine is working today on a maternity ward!  Can you imagine how glorious that will be for a handful of women!  Yet, she is not being pampered today.  She is at work.

I realize that the celebrations can come in all different ways, and that I cannot judge another family.  I'm not.  I just hate this unrealistic expectation that it's a day off for Mom's.  Should it be?  Hell.  Yes.  Can it be?  Not for a lot of Mom's.

Chores need to get done.  There is a week to prepare for, as loads of Moms will be heading to work bright and early tomorrow.  Children still need raising.  Bathtubs still need to be cleaned after midnight use.

Ellie's room had vomit nearly everywhere.  I took her straight to the tub and stripped her and drew a warm bubble bath and washed her from head to toe.  She laid there for a long time, as I'm sure the water felt good on her icky-feeling tummy.  I waited.  I cried a little bit, because I despise when my kids are sick without me.  It makes my heart ache to think about them being alone when they're throwing up.

This, is my Mother's Day.
I wouldn't want it any other way.

All the things that we're expected to be exempt from, are the things that, in fact, make this day possible.
These three people, my kids, are the reason I get to participate in this day.  My youngest child, the bonus boy, is three today.  It's his birthday.  Mother's Day cannot overshadow this.  My school-aged daughters made heart-felt, lovely gifts for me at school.  This, is my Mother's Day.

My Mom looks prettiest when she is with Dad.
Audrey filled in the blank with this.
She is a clever and observant girl, and to say that we have struggled this year?  Well, we have.
And yet, she thinks that I look pretty when her Dad and I are together.
This, is my Mother's Day.

It bothered me, too, that my husband, my partner in all of this, who will have his day in about a month, felt the need to apologize for asking for help.  The hell?  Of course!  This day had been happening for 40 minutes, and he already felt like he shouldn't disturb me.  Again, get real.

I don't wish for a day off.  I feel that it's unrealistic.  At least right now.  I actually have no wishes.  The greatest things to ever happen to me live at my house, and that is just, enough.

Maybe the sleeping thing.  I could have used a sleep in...

Flexible Dieting, Ya'll!

This post is a bit of a "wake-up-and-smell-the-fact-that-there's-a-better-way!" post, than a motivational one!

Do you know what a personal trainer is?  Group fitness?  Gym membership?
OF COURSE YOU DO!
I'm sure you're familiar with at least one of these things.
What do they have in common?
One hour.

You could even go so far as to give that time a range.  Thirty minutes, 90 minutes, hell, even two hours.
This is a relatively small amount of time in your day, right?

What are you doing with the other 23?

Exercising is easy.
If I'm being perfectly honest, though?
You don't even really have to work out, to get results.
Really!

We're all familiar with exercise and getting fit and lifting weights, and doing Zumba and blah, blah, blah...
But have you heard of a nutrition coach?

Maybe, but maybe not.
You can easily get an hour of exercise in, using any number of means, but some people, likely loads of people, could use help with the rest of the day.  The eating part of the day.  The 3-6 times you are choosing food throughout the day.
A coach?  She can help you, and mine has done nothing less than overhaul my entire way of thinking about food.
No more fear, no more "working off those calories", no more guilt.
None.

If you're interested in a new way, but not a quick way. If you're tired of being afraid of food, or your clothes not fitting, or what you're going to eat at that birthday next Saturday, then you might consider a nutrition coach.  In my opinion, you should consider a nutrition coach over a personal trainer.

My coach teaches flexible dieting.  I realize the word dieting implies that we're giving something up, but I assure you, I have given up nothing.  Not one thing.  The only thing "diet" about the whole thing is that you will be in a calorie deficit - so, you will be consuming slightly fewer calories than you are burning.  This process is slow.  It's meant to be.  It's also pretty easy, as in, like I mentioned, I have given up nothing!  Still going to parties, still going on dates, still working treats into my week.

Where did I come from?  Why did I need a nutrition coach?
I have been heavy my entire life.  I didn't just gain weight when I was pregnant.  I haven't yo-yo'd 40 or 50lbs, I have had, and used a gym membership since I was in high school, and I have been overweight always.  I am also a runner.  I have the experience of 13 half marathons and two marathons under my feet, and on the very weekend I ran a back-to-back half marathon and marathon, I weighed 5lbs more than I do today, and had very little muscle to show for a heckuva'  lot of work.

You cannot out train a bad diet.
A lifetime of terrible eating never caught up to me.  I had always been large.  I had always had terrible, closet eating habits.
Brandy has given me every tool, every opportunity to contact her, and more encouragement than I've ever had.  If you'd like to have a crazy fan in your stands as you trek along on your body transformation, then Brandy is your girl!  You can have all the faith in the world in yourself, but there will be days of doubt.  A coach can be the pillar for you and can guide you, lift you when you feel like you're failing.

I still have work to do.  I am patient, and kind to myself in a way I never have been but I am also armed with the tools and the freedom to choose and I feel assured of myself, with the help of my coach.  I feel so good and I have no fear when I am making my food choices all day, every day.  This Sh*t works!