The Challenge

I ran 20km yesterday and felt so fantastic.
This was the furthest I'd ever run since my Vegas incident, so I was understandably nervous about it, but I've been treating my body well and working up to this distance in a reasonable manner, and so, it was a beautiful day and I ran 20 20.28km and felt amazing!

I'm participating in a 12 week clean eating challenge, however I have no intention of this "challenge" ending after 12 weeks.  I've found this new-to-me way of eating to be refreshing and easy and I'm never, ever hungry.  I've also already noticed a change in my energy level and if I do have A cheat, I really feel lousy afterwards, which is something I've never experienced.

With this challenge comes, well, challenges!
Today's is a question, and it asks me what is the biggest obstacle holding me back from achieving all that I want to.
Good one.
For me to answer this question, I had to first decide what it is I want to achieve.  What are my goals?  From this challenge, from the next six months, or year?  Forever?
So, my goal from this challenge is to get my body into a single digit size.  That is something I haven't done ever in my adult life, so that's huge for me!
I also want to permanently change the way I deal with food and eating in general.  I'll let you know in 11 weeks time if I've succeeded at either one of these goals!

My goals for 6 months and a years time?  To be able to MAINTAIN my aforementioned goals and to be running a half marathon every couple months or so and a marathon every year.  Pain and injury-free.
That's it.
Written down, my goals seem much more attainable and real.

So, first question answered, second one, MUCH more difficult to answer...
Obstables.
And after thinking about it long and hard, I've decided that my fear of "getting there" is my biggest obstacle.
I am genuinely afraid of reaching my goal weight because today I am at my wedding day weight, which also happens to be my lowest adult weight.
I feel good.  I feel like I look OK and I know that I can easily stay at this weight.
But I also know that if I stay the course, I will be a me that I won't hardly recognize.
And that is truly terrifying.
I'm an expert at gaining weight and I'm pretty good at losing it, but I haven't a clue how to maintain it.
This notion may very well be what's held me back for so many years from changing.
Fear of the unknown?  Yup.  That's me!
There again.  Now that it's on the screen in front of me, it seems that if I'm at least aware of it, I can overcome it.
(Hmmmmmm, seems to me I MAY have written a post about obstacles not TOO long ago...).

As far as my running goals, I'm afraid that I will hurt myself again, or worse, re-injure myself.
The thing is, I know that if I become this person I speak of whom I have never met, y'know, the one who wears clothes that can be purchased from the middle of the rack, that my chance of injuring myself decreases.  A lot.
If there is less of me, then there is less stress on my legs.  Legs that will also be stronger and leaner than ever before.  This is very exciting to me and is one of my biggest motivators to "get there".
So, one week down, 11 more to go and surely my forever holds a super healthy me!

Cheers and here's to another squeaky clean week!

Running Teachings

Running has taught me so many things.
I thought I would share some of the ways running has changed my life.
Cliche, I know, but if you're a runner, you know how true this is.

I've been running for a long time, and I've experienced many life changes during that  time.
I'd like to say that running has helped me to get through some of the toughest times of my life, but it has done so much more than that.
I have experienced body numbing, burning eyes, physically painful heartbreak.  Whether caused by a break up, or a death, is not the point.  But I have lived through some awful hurt.  And running has provided me with a sort of sanctuary.
I know that no matter what is happening in my life, good OR bad,  all I need is a pair of running shoes and some road and I can give my brain a chance to breathe.  To absorb the happenings of the day.  To organize and reconnect my thoughts and emotions so that I am not a big ball of "hot mess" at the end of it all.
I'm a strong advocate for mental health and for taking care of one's mind as you would your body.  I can admit that I have an excellent counsellor who I do not hesitate to visit when needed, however part of taking care of one's mental health is having an outlet.
Mine, is running.
I come home after a run, time and time again, and tell my husband, my lovely, no-questions-asked-just-taking-care-of-the-girls-so-Mommy-can-escape husband, that running is my happy place.  And it so is

So, the first running lesson I've learned is that having an outlet is detrimental to my health.

Another lesson I've learned from running is that I can do anything.
It will take time, and it may not be pretty or fast, but I can do absolutely anything I set my mind to.
The best things in life do not happen overnight.  If everything was easy, then there would be no reward from the wait.
Finding your life partner, creating and raising children.  These are obviously some of the "wait's" that provide the most gratifying results, however training for a race or changing one's lifestyle in order to gain maximum health benefits are also extremely fulfilling "wait's".

Lesson number two.  If you're willing to put in the time and commitment, then you can achieve anything.

Being able to overcome my negative self, in order to get out the door to run a short 5km run.  THAT is my newest lesson and probably the one that I will struggle with most for the next phase of my life.  Having children and a busy family can make getting in your miles totally impossible very difficult.
It is so important, though, that I strive to maintain my fitness and health so that I can be a good role model for my family, and so that I can be around for a long time to watch my girls grow up.
My negative self is also the one that tells me I'm too fat, or too wrinkle-y, or not tidy enough, or not organized enough...(I could go on, and I'm sure you can all relate!).  Yet, more important than getting my rear out the door for a run, I need to stay on top of my negative self so that I can try to have a healthy self-esteem and body image to reflect upon my girls.

Third lesson, snub out the neggies so that the positive can shine through.

This post will obviously be a short list of the lessons that running has taught me because after the thousands of miles I've logged over the years, I'm sure I could write a book (and I'm SURE one or two have been written!) about my personal gains through running.

The final lesson I'm going to write about involves overcoming obstacles.
Running obstacles most often include an injury of some sort, or a legitimate life happening that creates a short or long-term set back.  A set-back like surgery, or pregnancy.
A set-back can lead to a falling-from-the-bandwagon, which can lead to a full on quit.
Being able to overcome a challenge, even a quit, is a huge accomplishment for anyone.
I have gone through some short and long term breaks from running, but have always, always come back to running.

Last lesson I've learned is that staying on "the horse" is not the goal, but always being able to get back on, is.

I'm about to go get my gear on and go for a run, which is really great because my monkey girls are both sick and I'm feeling rather helpless, so hopefully when I return I'll be able to feel better that they're both going to be alright and that this too, shall pass.

Happy running!