Gold Star Parenting?

The learning curve for parents is anything but a curve. I'm not even sure one should try and graph it because it seems that as soon as you can pat yourself on the back for mastering something, the very next day you will fail miserably at it.
But I think that this is a mentality that is hard to kick, but also very necessary to becoming a great parent.
Parenting is about learning, but it isn't about learning to be the best.  It is about learning how to create a family with the people who live under the roof.  Your children don't care if your house is spotless, or that you can change your own tire.  They also have no interest in your own self-hatred, so stop beating yourself up for every damn thing!
Children are extremely observant and one of my biggest challenges, given that we will have two daughters soon, is making sure not to be too hard on myself.
When you don't have children, your inner voice can tell you all sorts of nasty things and you are more than welcome to listen and agree, however, once you become a Mom or a Dad, you are now the direct role model and first influence on your kids and the LAST thing I want to teach my girls is that television and magazines, and God help me, even those catty bitches in her kindergarten class are right.
So, the point of this post is that I really do think that parents should be giving themselves more 'Gold Star's' if they expect their children to be able to do the same.  How can I expect lil A and her sister to be proud and make the right decisions because it will make them feel good, if we as parents won't give ourselves the same permission?
Stop comparing yourself to other parents, stop beating yourself up because you didn't provide 4 food groups at breakfast, stop worrying and fussing over every scheduled detail of your child's life because in the end, the only thing they WILL remember is the time you spent with them.  Memories are not created from clean homes, gymnastics or play dates...they are built from time spent as a family having FUN!!
Good advice, right?
It's hard to follow, and even if you don't, I am of a strong belief that everyone's kids, no matter how you decide to parent them, will turn out JUST FINE!

My Chariot Awaits!

We've purchased a double stroller.
We will have two children in less than 10 weeks.
Children.  Plural.  I will be outnumbered.
It's two of the best things that have ever happened to me.  My children.
From seeing the pink line on the pee stick, gaining weight at an exponential rate, feeling the kicks, bumps and hiccups to entering the last weeks where I will inevitably complain daily, if not hourly about aches, ginormousness and sheer exhaustion.
I wouldn't trade a single day of it for anything.  As difficult as it can be, I love growing babies.
My biggest problem is the growing part.
I have unfortunate genetics that cause my body to gain weight.  Anytime.  Any place.  And given a reason, like, say pregnancy, my body REJOICES!!!
My scale and I are not friends but I am learning that my numbers are not as important as my health and the example I must now set for my children.
So, we bought a double chariot.  When XX number two arrives, pending a natural delivery, I can return to running 4-6 weeks afterwards and hopefully begin (again!?) the process of returning my scale numbers to their rightful place.
I am really excited about this, although I haven't quite grasped the huge difference between pushing one child in a 20lb stoller vs. pushing two children in a 28lb stroller.
I may be running alone.
For now we are venturing out in the chariot for walks with vitamin A because it is her new favorite place in the whole world.
I hope she feels the same when there is another tiny person sitting beside her...

Birthing: The Final Frontier

In t-12 weeks, give or take a few days (take, I hope) I am set to expel another baby.

Everyday women birth babes, and so you would think that this must not be a daunting task.

I assure you.  It is.

Just because women are pushing out 7,8,9, my God, sometimes larger babies, does NOT mean that any individual experience is ordinary.  There truly is nothing like bringing a life into the world.  Unfortunately, the coming into the world part is the last stretch of an often long, painful and arduous process.  Called, appropriately, labour.

This is already a fear of mine, which will be my greatest challenge in the coming weeks.  Believing that my body was meant to give birth.  Trusting that without medicine, and with a group of people who also believe in me, that I can endure the labour process.

Who the hell have I become.

I am not normally this kind of person.  I take tylenol in expectation of a headache and have a medicine cabinet that could provide backup for Shoppers, if the need ever arose.

Truly, I do not like to be in pain and definitely do not see any problem using modern medicine to ease my ailing body.  I do, however, have a belief that having a baby is not a condition to be treated with "pain management".

The more I learn about midwifery, the more I believe in a more natural way of birthing.  Are hospitals necessary to have babies?  Absolutely not.  Why and how did we ever conclude that hospitals (full of germs, infections and diseases) would be the best place for women to give birth?

Medicating every pain (which, I also believe that the expectation that birth will hurt actually makes birth MORE painful for many women) is not the way a birth experience was meant to be.

And so, about 12 weeks from now I will likely blog about my birth experience.

If I end up in the hospital with an IV, an induction and an epidural, you may put your hands on your hips, lean forward and say, "I told you it couldn't be done."

But I hope that's not the case.

Lucina Centre - Birthing Centre and Midwifery Care

www.lucinacentre.ca

More Children Less Me?

A good friend of mine had her third and fourth children yesterday and I caught myself thinking, well, she's definitely a Mom now, and nothing but a Mom.
And then I immediately felt guilty.
Does the number of children you have become inversely proportionate to the amount of time you have for yourself?  Does it have to?  Is there a way to maintain yourself and your relationship with your partner, while still successfully wrangling a herd of children?
When our second little person joins us in a few months, I'll be able to better answer that question from the perspective of a Mother of two.
The truth is, when vitamin A joined us, she was such an easy kid and just fit into OUR lives so well that we didn't need to adjust to her as much as we'd anticipated.  I have a real fear that double the children will be doubly difficult, but I am an extremely determined gal and although I want to be the best Mom I can be, I also know that taking time for me will enable me to do just that.
I have decided to register for a half marathon 6-7 months after this baby comes.  I would like to do either the Las Vegas half or the Disneyworld half and I'm hoping that physically registering for a race will help me to persevere in maintaining my former self as a runner.
As we expand our family, (possibly to add a third child?  We shall see what the future holds...) I will be attempting to not become 'nothing but a Mom' and I will share my strategies here!  So stay tuned!!

Boot camp! Take THAT 25 weeks prego belly!!

In the past four weeks I've been challenged greatly at BMS bootcamp twice a week in Leduc.  I've been to bootcamps before and expected this one to be a little bit "sissy", to put it politely.
It was anything but "sissy".
My VERY first class we moved our bodies non stop for 45 minutes.  We were up skipping, down into burpees, up into squat jumps, down into push up pumps and that skipping I mentioned?  That was the break!!!
It is a workout that is for everyone because you do what you are able to.  Being pregnant, I have made loads of modifications, but my trainers think I'm still challenging myself adequately and since I am my own best competitor, I think I'm working plenty hard too!
Since I've started this bootcamp, I've found that I'm not gaining weight at an obscene rate, like I would expect from my experience last time!  I've also noticed that I can climb stairs without getting breathless, SOOOOOOOOOO I went for a run tonight...
I've mentioned before that runners will run through ANYTHING.  And I gave my 6 months pregnant belly a hella good workout tonight and felt fantastic!  Maybe it was the few new songs I rewarded myself with on my ipod, or maybe it was the +6 weather (which is extraordinary for Alberta at this time of year!), but I really truly felt fantastic!  In fact, the only reason I remembered I was pregnant was because my new pepto pink running jacket would not zip up comfortably!
With my newfound pregnancy fitness, I've decided to continue with bootcamp beyond the 6 weeks I signed up for AND I'm quite determined to do the Las Vegas half marathon in December!

Wish me luck!

This is a pic of my cousin Courtenay and I heading out for a run at Candle Lake when Vit A was around 5 months old.  One of my fave places and people to run with!  I WILL be running when this babe is 5 months old - hopefully sooner!

www.bmsbootcamps.com

Non-runners

So, I had my first group appointment at my midwives office yesterday and when the four other women began to trickle in, I thought, ok, you are all going to be crunchy granola types who eat only organic and do yoga daily and meditate and want to do hypnobirthing and plan to breastfeed your children until they are ten OR you will all be normal.
They are the former.
So, for much of our appointment, of which the topic was nutrition and fitness (wondering how I already knew so much about them, right?!), we talked about how yoga is so good for pregnant women and running is not.
Screw you all.
Obviously they are not runners because runners will attempt to run through everything.  I really do mean everything because we will run with pink tape up and down our legs to try and keep detached muscles in place, we will run with urine/feces/vomit on our clothes/legs/socks left in the woods, we will run IN SPITE of ourselves, and really, no one else!  And runners, although sometimes on hiatus due to sickness or other ailments like, say pregnancy, will always attempt to get back to running.
Here's where my  extreme frustration comes from today.
I am a fairly understanding person.  I always try to see other views.  Seek to Understand as my dad would say, and this guy LIVES by the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!  So, there I am in a group of women who are all pregnant and hoping to have drug-free water births at a birthing centre.  It seems I am the odd one out.  BUT I am also not judging them for living their lives as non-runners.  I was not privy to the same treatment.  Yoga, it seems, truly is the secret of life.  Or so I was told.  Running puts alot of stress on your body.  Running is high impact.  Running will stretch out ligaments and joints that are already super duper flexible.
OK.  I get it.  Yoga > Running. Whatever.  Still hate yoga.
And so, in conclusion: Non-runners do not.  Will not.  Cannot understand runners.

After the wrapping, food and company...

So, we had a really great Christmas with lots of company, eating and celebrations - but I think one of my favorite things is being able to enjoy the holidays with my hubby and little girl.  The magic of the season is captured by the children and the older Vitamin A gets, the more special Christmas becomes.
We decided to have our ultrasound done on Dec 23 so that we could surprise our family on Christmas eve with the reveal of the gender.  We got to see the little gaffer swimming about and showing us HER moves, and a few great poses that made excellent pictures!

Now that our house is mostly free of Christmas decorations, I need to get creative so that A doesn't get bored!  She was busy every day over the holidays with visitors and toys and now we are settling into out regular routine!