Monkey Wrench

I've been absent.  Non-existent.  Delinquent, if you will.
But, I have a good reason.  The BEST reason, perhaps.
I'm par-egnant!
A.G.A.I.N.

From day one, I nicknamed this tiny, precious human being, monkey wrench.
Day one, which also happened to be the day I ran my best half marathon ever and clocked a 2:02 time (heartbreaking, although it was a personal best), may very well go down as one of the most emotional days of my life.
Add a huge personal victory, a beautiful and memorable race, and the fact that I learned that we were going to be a five-some, and you would have relived that day.

I will not be running in the Goofy race this year because I will be around 24 weeks pregnant, and that would be toats cray cray, however I have the option to defer my race fees until 2015, and I will be doing the race then - 6 months post babe.  So, send me lots of good, healthy running vibes because the summer and fall of 2014 will be PACKED with running!

"But, you were trying to get pregnant?"
No.
"So, why did you even check?"
I was going to have an x-ray done of my ankle after I'd run the race because it was aggravated.
"Hm."

This is how my first midwife appointment went.

Was this baby planned?
Nope.
Wanted?
Absolutely, positively and in the most incredible and awe-inspiring way.

Now, what happens to the average person during the first few months of pregnancy?
They generally feel awful and just get to "be" pregnant.

Me?
No, no, no, no, no.
I.  Pack.  It.  On.

A positive sign truly equals 10lbs for me.

And I'm up a few from there...

Actually, at this very moment I'm wearing my new crossfit kicks as I dive into my second cookie.
No joke.

I'm still getting exercise.  Not the running sort, because as I previously mentioned, I buggered my ankle to the point of why-bother-rehabilitating-if-I'm-going-to-be-a-heffer-soon, but I'm getting my butt to crossfit at least twice a week, so long as I'm not exhausted or fighting a 6-week cold.
My weight isn't going to climb into the 60+lb gain, as it did with Audrey, but closer to the 30, er, 40lb range as with Ellie.

I'm strangely the most comfortable with this that I've ever been during any of my pregnancies.
(It is STILL shocking to me that I am referring to my TWO previous pregnancies in comparison to this one!  Like, who DOES that?!?!  Three kids?!?!  Well, *sigh*, we do...)

I am going to exercise and eat the treats and feel good without worrying about the weight.
It will come off.

And then, when my minions, I mean, children are a little older, I'm going to set my sights on even bigger, loftier goals.
Because what's the point if we're not reaching beyond our grasp?

Summertime!

We have had a crazy fun and busy summer so my blogging has fallen to the wayside.

Life is happening and we are making memories!

We have had a great summer.  We have spent time with family, we have gone on a road trip or two and we have been able to enjoy some lazy summer days, because if you ask anyone in the prairie provinces of Canada, it's been kind of a crummy, cold summer!

We went for Japanese one day and had so much fun
"corralling" Ellie with the legless seat backs!

I had created goals for myself at the beginning of the summer and I have met and exceeded all of them except for one.

I did not compete in the Devon triathlon.  I decided that I hadn't put in enough time in the pool and so I wasn't ready.  I beat myself up a bit over it, because as anyone who creates goals can tell you, when you don't complete something you've set out to do, it can be a little disheartening.

The fact of the matter was, I hadn't made triathlon training a priority.

I have made running a priority, however, and my hard work and kilometers logged allowed me to run a personal best time at the Moose is Loose and I came in with a 2:07:45.

I cried a little, as I always do when I achieve a PB time, and then my thoughts immediately drifted into the logistics and timing that would be needed to run a sub 2 hour half in the Edmonton marathon.

Well, here it is.

Six days away from the Edmonton Derby marathon and I'm nervous.  

I'm nervous that I won't prep well, or feel good, or that I'll have to pee (legit concern!) and my time will be around a 2:02 or 2:05 and then I'll be crying for another reason.

I know, without a doubt that I can run a 2 hour, actually, 1:59:59, half marathon, but I also know my body, and I don't want to risk injury or extreme exhaustion for the sake of a time.

I'm stretching.
On the couch.
Because I had to still be a Mom, even though I couldn't hardly walk!

I have said it before, and I will say it again now.  

Running is a part of who I am.

I am happy when I'm running.

This nagging ankle injury could very well be the worst thing to ever happen to me.
In the grande scheme, it's petty.
But it is still significant in the life of an athlete.

I met with a sports medicine physician at the University of Alberta last month who basically said that the injury I've been told I have all along, by my family physician and physiotherapist, is in fact, not at all the injury that is plaguing me currently.
Sinus tarsi syndrome.  At least it's nice to put a name to it!
The injury I have that will not release it's grasp, is an inflammation of the space behind all the ligaments I've previously injured.
I don't know the anatomy or physiology of this injury, and it's irrelevant anyways, because bottom line is I've got an appointment for a cortisone shot in early September.
This.  Is.  A.  Big.  deal.

Cortisone.
Steroids.
What I've tried to avoid at all costs.

I'm still not even sure I'm going to go through with it because I feel like it could be a make or break (no pun intended) kind of decision.
Time will tell and in the in-between-time I've got another half marathon to run, so I'll post again after this brief and cold summer is over.

We spent many days on the beach, the monkey girls and their Dad and I.
Good times!  We LOVE the lake!

When You're Ready Come & Get It

Thanks to Miss Selena G, I've adopted this as my new running mantra.

When you're ready.  It's there.  Waiting for you.
What is?
Everything and anything you ever dreamed.

One of my favorite Mumford & Sons songs was playing.
I was just cresting a long, but gradual incline, and I could barely see my loose fists pumping, rhythmically.
Right, left, right, left.
My legs were answering, strong and powerful, in opposite rhythm.
Left, right, left, right.
I glanced at my watch.
14.41km.
My last split was a 6:47km, so I was putting on the gas a little bit, shooting for 6 minute kilometres for my last 4.
The song begins to crescendo and I can feel the smile start across my face, because this, this is perfection.
I turn the corner onto the busy highway and I know I'm on the home stretch.
My smile grows bigger as my Selena song comes on.
I'm ready and I'm pouncing on it.
I am a runner, and I AM a distance runner.

It's around noon on a Sunday and I'm just out for an 18km run.
No biggie.
Seriously.

In just a few short years, I am able to run a half marathon a month.
And also keep up with bi-weekly crossfit classes and a handful of bike rides every week.

When you're ready come and get it.
I am so loving this right now because it represents so much for me.
To me, it means that we can all be whatever we dream to be.
It is up to us, and no one else.
It's up to you to go and get it, to become it.
Triathlete?  Train for it.  Register.  Do it.
Want to be fit and healthy?  Find something.  Anything.  And go do it.  Get up and go.  And.  Do.  It.
Aspire to change careers?  Be courageous and find a way to make it happen.
It is so simple and it's all right there in front of you.

As I finished up my last kilometre, which happened to be my fastest, at 5:15, because I REALLY poured it on, I felt like at that moment in the universe, I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing.  Running.
I realized that I probably could have held a faster pace, more consistently, but really, it was a great run, on an absolutely amazing day and I knew I had come a long way.

An 18km run isn't a huge feat for me anymore, and I need to aim higher.

And that's what I'm doing.

Goofy, you and I have date on January 11 & 12, 2014.
Bring it on.
I'm ready for it all.

Goodbye 31

At the bottom of this post is a link for a song.

Do yourself a favor and click on it so it can play while you read this post about how grateful I am for my life.  I'm not sure if it has anything to do with this post, but it's a picker-upper and it will surely make you smile!

Today is my 32nd birthday.

And what do I have to show for it?

Everything.

Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that this would be the life I would be living at 32 years old.

I am married to a man who is my perfect match.  Who encourages and supports me while I dream crazy big dreams and register for "goofy" and spectacular races.  Who thinks I'm beautiful at all the different sizes I've been during our time together.  Who is the most incredible Daddy to two of the coolest broads I've ever known.  And who I know loves me.  Unconditionally.

Even when I'm not-so-lovable.

I have a billion dollar family.

By traditional standards, we don't have the "million dollar family", but we do have a billion dollar family.

What does that mean?

It means that we are perfect just as we are.  Our girls are perfect (mostly).  Our family is perfect (generally). And our life is as close to perfect as can be.

And we could live forever with nothing but the clothes on our backs and each other and be the happiest people on the planet.

Not only do we have a pretty perfect (did I mention that before?) family, but our extended family is pretty phenomenal as well.

We have two sets of parents who support us and want to spend as much time as possible with our girls and we've got siblings who are nearly as cool as us.  ;)

We also have Aunts and Uncles who are like second sets of parents to us and we have grandparents who have always tried to give us the world.

We really are a lucky bunch.

My Dad and I competed in our first triathlon on Father's Day.

It was a sprint distance which included a 750m open water swim, a double loop 20km bike and another double loop 5km run.

It was one of the best racing experiences of my life.

I was shocked at how I was able to endure and how I felt like a real athlete in my tri wetsuit.

(I finished 16th overall in the swim and I am so proud of that!)

Isn't it cool that I get to share in so many race experiences with my Dad?

We're done!
And we're still wearing our ever-forgiving tri suits!  (NOTE:sarcasm)

So, on this day, my 32nd birthday, that I am treating as a Thanksgiving day, I am grateful.
I have great family, friends and a very hard fought, but battle won, for my health.
This has been the best year of my life and to everyone who was involved in all of my victories and challenges overcome, thank you.
This entire year would not have been possible without you and although many of my 32 years have come and gone with not much to show, this year will always be close to my heart and a memorable one.

These girls are so friggin' cool!
So glad we get to be roomies!

Gone gone gone

The Big Relay

Today, I have not eaten clean.
Like, if there were an opposite of clean eating, today would be the picture beside it in the dictionary.
I say this as I lick the fake cheese-like-substance that coats a deep fried corn flavoured chip that I am repeatedly reaching for out of a yellow label bag.
Yes, folks, these are no name brand chips, at that.

I'm sure you're wondering what else I had for lunch.
Fret not.
It was balanced.
With a handful of m&m's.

I will not feel guilty about this day though, because it was most definitely a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and there is always food at a good pity party.

I also went to crossfit this morning and sweated my ass off.
So if you're wondering where the calories went that I burned off between the hours of 7 and 8am this morning?
I ate them.
Already.

Now, for the purpose of this post.
Last weekend, I participated in a relay race that started in Banff,AB and ended in Jasper,AB.
There were 15 runners total, running legs anywhere from 14 to 19+km.
This is not a race for the faint of heart.
It's a road race and it never leaves the boundaries of a mountainous National Park, so you can imagine, there's a hill or two.
We ran this race to raise funds for Brain Cancer research.  We also ran to celebrate a relative who was taken far too young as a result of this disease.
I think we succeeded in both.
Our team consisted of brand-newbies, one of which was informed on Thursday before the Saturday race that he would be running 16km,  (thanks Tyler!) as well as long-time veteran runners, (thanks John!), and everything in between.

It was a beautiful day and the energy surrounding the race was palpable.
Our team ran, that is, travelled from Banff to Jasper, every single step, on foot.
I'm pretty damn proud of us!

It was probably my best run, ever, and also a personal best as I ran 19.2km in 1:57.
And I am JONES-ING to do a half so I can prove to myself that I can do a sub 2 hour race!!

Now, I'm not going to let this entire day be a bust as far as my nutrition goes, so I'd better go eat a banana or something to help soak up the cheese coloured flavoured snack...

Not every day can be squeaky clean.  I'm human and I cave.
Some days are like that.
Even in Australia.

I really am  happiest when I'm running.
And when I'm with my family.  Yeah.

The Value of Beauty

Are you like me?

Do you really have no idea how your beauty compares to others?

I have absolutely no problem, whatsoever praising my children and seeing their stunning beauty, but when it comes to myself, I'm my own, personal, #1, hardcore critic.

I think most people are their own worst critic, and although we can recognize that, we are unable to change it.

Maybe for a day or two we can consciously see our own beauty, both inside and out, but it doesn't take long for the old, negative self doubts to creep into our innocent minds.

I realize that physical beauty isn't anywhere near as important or valuable as our spiritual and emotional beauty, but there is no denying the fact that our appearance has grips on so many aspects of our lives.

The biggest, and most important decision of our lives, choosing our partner, is initially based solely upon one another's outward appearance.

Don't even try to deny it!

We are first attracted to our significant other's beauty, and then we are able to fall in love with all the other bits.

Now that we've got two little girls, I feel it's important that I not only take careful steps to reign in my own lousy self-esteem in regards to my weight, but also to my appearance.

Do they need to see me scrutinizing every wrinkle?  Is my nose too fat?  Does this shirt hide my muffin top?  Am I pretty?

Who frickin' cares!

They certainly don't, and I've got much better things to do than teach them how to hate themselves.

For a very long time (at least I hope!), my girls will think that I'm the most beautiful person in the world.

I may not believe this to be true, and, of course, it's not, but fake it til you make it, right?

My older gal likes to play with my hair, and I've held off cutting the whole lot of it off, because I adore this.

Our children will look at our faces, and have nothing but an innocent, confident smile.  A genuine, all-knowing, smile.

They love us, and they don't know any better.

We.  Are.  Beautiful.

I will never tire of looking at these
two gorgeous faces!

Is it good for them to hear us criticize ourselves?
No.
Is it good for their hearts to know that their mother or father thinks that they're ugly?
No.  Because one day, they will learn that they are created in their parents likeness, and they will let those same mental recordings start to happen in their own beautiful little brains.
I cannot let this happen.

So, what is the value of beauty?
In my opinion, it's whatever you make of it.
Do you think you're beautiful?
Like I said earlier, I have no idea how I compare to the rest of the world, but comparing myself to others is about as effective as, well, it's just not.  And I'm far too lazy to spend time on that anyways!
Is it important?
Yes.
How important?
Well, that's up to you and I.

She loves to hang out in the carrier.
Who needs a double stroller anyhow?!

Summer 2013

Running, biking, swimming, crossfit-ing and dreaming of adding a yoga class to my schedule.
This is a typical week.
Yep.  In one week I must fit in one bike, one swim, one crossfit class and two or three runs.
Up until last week, I was also going to one physio appointment every week.
It almost sounds like a recipe, doesn't it?
Add, five or six workouts and a physio or yoga session, subtract equal amounts of family time, also subtract date nights and any semblance of a social life and you will have one awesome  race-filled summer.

Well, I'll tell ya in September if it was an awesome summer!

On my current agenda, I've got planned:
A 19.1km leg of the Banff to Jasper relay
The Summerside sprint triathlon
Color me Rad 5km
The Moose is Loose half marathon
The Devon sprint triathlon
The Derby Edmonton half marathon  The Derby Edmonton full marathon
The Barrhead Queen of Hearts triathlon
Melissa's Road Race half marathon

And all of this will be followed up with a heavy running-only training schedule to get ready for the Goofy race in January.
I have never, ever in my life planned to (and I know I'll finish all of these races!) compete in so many races.  The financial investment is enough to ensure my rear gets to the start line, which, in turn, ensures I will get to the finish line.

Now, for the interesting part.

Goals.

I'm not just planning to run and triathlon my way through the summer, but I plan to end with two PRs, or personal records.
I am going to run a sub 2 hour half marathon, and I'm sure that the Derby will be the race to do it.
REVISION  Since I've decided to do the Edmonton full, then the Moose is Loose is my ONLY opportunity to do a sub 2.  *breathe in, breathe out, breathe in...*
I'm also planning to have two improved times on my sprint triathlons.  The second being faster than the first, and the third being faster than the second.
Those are my goals. 
If your dreams aren't big enough to scare you...right?!
Heard that before?!
Well I'm not scared of any of the races I'm doing this summer, but I am a little scared for this Goofy race.
63.3km over two days.
This race scares me because the last time I trained for a marathon (and only a marathon, not a marathon and a half!) I injured myself so badly that it took over two years for me to do another half marathon.
For a runner, that's a huge, huge setback.

I was productive, though.
I had a baby.

My get-ankle-ready strategy includes as-needed physio with my fantastic therapist, who also happens to be an ironman athlete, and crossfit.  Loads of dynamic moves and one-foot jumping.  This damn ankle has no choice but to comply!!

I've also got an appointment to see a Naturopath about Prolotherapy.
My physiotherapist suggested it to help strengthen and rehabilitate this bum ankle that continues to plague me.
I've done my research and found a clinic, so we'll see in June if this stuff is hulabaloo, or if it's going to help me.

I have a feeling 60+ less pounds on this body of mine is going to help in preventing injury.  ;)

The most unfortunate part about this summer is that I've had to give up my twice weekly bootcamp classes.  I just can't fit in these classes and my work schedule includes shift and so that makes it hard to get to these classes.
I'm planning to return in the fall, and I'm also hoping to continue with crossfit as they both bring a different dynamic to my fitness regime.

GAWRSH I love working out!
(I'm channeling goofy.  Did ya get that?)