I've been thinking about a post for sometime now, but I really had no idea how it would come together. See, the bottom line is, I've put on weight since my photo shoot a year ago.
And that's OK.
Here's why:
Post photo shoot my coach and I were planning to have me reverse diet - adding calories back into my days until we found a sustainable number. It just so happened that this was happening during the Crossfit Open - so you can imagine that I was pleased with my results, while competing with a lean body, AND eating extra calories! I was on FIRE! Reversing is absolutely, and without a doubt, much harder than dieting. Dieting is simply math and on some days, discipline. That's it. Reversing, and following that, maintaining, is seriously hard.
Losing weight is addicting. People will be commenting on how great you look, you are going to notice more energy, your clothes fit better, and for me, some of the movements at the gym became easier. It. Is. ADDICTING!
So I followed the plan quite well - I am a people-pleaser, after all - and then in the Fall I noticed that my energy was in the absolute toilet. After a visit to my doctor and some blood work, we found that my TSH levels were elevated, which meant my thyroid was sluggish - and so was my metabolism. Adjusted my medicine, and within a month my lab values had swung hard the other way. Too hard.
I was, and still am, frustrated. I'm frustrated that my body could betray me like that. I worked so hard to create this body, and then sooooooo hard to maintain it, and ultimately, it was working against me.
One step forward, two steps back.
A younger version of me would already be shopping for bigger clothes and be well on the way to gaining 50lbs.
But not this time.
I have gained. My clothes fit, at least most of them, but they're not as comfortable as I like, so I'm doing something about it. I bought myself a journal. I carefully wrote out some short term and long term goals, and then I further broke them down into some goals for this coming week.
The thing is, if you have managed to lose weight, that is not the end of the journey. It is a forever kinda' thing. You will learn tricks and tools and techniques, and if you just continue to adapt them, and know yourself, you WILL be successful. You will.
But you need to have patience, and you need to be kind to yourself.
When I was thinking about writing this one, I couldn't help but consider, what if I was 50lbs heavier? It's not unheard of for someone to put on that kind of weight in a year. Trust me. Would I still be kind to myself? Would I still have this attitude? Would it be OK?
Of course it would.
I cannot give up on myself, and I've decided that I can measure my success any damn way I want to, so I think that not giving up on myself is HUGELY successful. I can reach for some of the tools I've learned, and put them into action, and just as any time before, the results will follow.
I have also learned that gaining weight is not failure. This time around the extra pounds came as a result of a thyroid malfunction, however in past they have come as a result of challenging life circumstances or mental illness, and truth be told, I really feel like any reason is a valid one. Perhaps you stopped caring so much about yourself - but it's because you were too busy caring about someone else. Still a valid reason. Sometimes we need to let ourselves go a little, so we can reach for someone, or something else. Just don't stay there.
The point is, though, that you find yourself recognizing that the place you're at is NOT where you want to be. For many people, they may not have the tools to help themselves.
This is where a nutrition coach will be invaluable. Would you like to learn the tools? Would you like some assistance as you gain your footing? Are you going to need support? A nutrition coach can help you with all of these things - and then some - because if you decide to let go of your coach one day, it's OK to periodically need help again! It's OK! She will be there, with some more of those tools, and perhaps some new ones, and you will not be judged in any way. That's not helpful, and it's not how she rolls.
I'm leaving the link to the absolute greatest nutrition coach, and I encourage you to reach out to her and see the value in yourself. You are worth the investment!
https://motivateandbfit.com/
I am considering myself a success. I just am. And I've already planned for the week ahead, and I'm looking forward to celebrating the positive outcomes with a little bit of shopping!
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