Oh Me Nerves!

It is the eve before my first race post-Ellie.
And I'm nervous.
It's a feeling most, if not all runners are familiar with.
My stomach is in knots and my mind is going over the possible race scenarios.
By morning I will be a bundle of crazy anxiety and until my race is done, I won't feel like myself.
Now, I have run countless races and run countless L-O-N-G training runs, but each and every time I am scheduled to run 10km or more, I get nervous!
I know, without a doubt, that my body can do this distance, but I still, every time get nervous.
For me, it's what makes me feel like a runner.  A real, bonified runner.
I know that lots of runners will never cross a finish line, and that doesn't make them any less of a runner.  But personally, the thrill of standing like a herd of cattle in a start line corral (true name - not made up!) is a feeling like no other.

I know, and I can tell anyone who's contemplating doing their first race, that if you register for the race, put in the miles and get your rear to the start line, that you will finish.
And the medal that will be placed around your neck at the end of the race cannot compare to the pride you will carry with you forever.
The race numbers, timing chips, last minute bathroom breaks - they're all part of the nerves, and ultimately, the race experience.
Until you've stood in a long line of runners at a single porta potty in a 300 participant race, you have not pushed your nerves to their fraying threshold.
It is exhilarating to hear the gun or the tone to signal the beginning of the race, and then feel the crowd's excitement as the people start surging forward.
I always reflect on the runners in the crowd who may be running their first race, or their first 5km ever, or 10km ever, and can't help but feel inspired.
This is what sparked my own temptation to run a marathon, and I am definitely feeling it again!
To step foot over the furthest distance you've ever done - 11km, past your first 10 or 22km, past your first 21 is such a unique feeling and unfortunately, one that cannot be duplicated.
Having done a marathon, I know that I can do the distance - just as I know I can do the distance tomorrow, yet I sometimes miss the feeling of running further than I ever have before.

I guess it might be time for a 50km race?

Some Wisdom for my Monkey Girls...

When a woman imagines herself with her future children, often she has an image of what and who these children will be.
I've always known I wanted children, however my image always included two boys.
When Audrey was born and my husband announced that it was a SHE, no one was more shocked than me.  I truly felt with every fibre of my being that we were coming home with an Owen, and I can honestly say that bringing home a little girl was one of the most incredible, beautiful moments of my life.  What a special gift to have a little sugar and spice of my own!
Imagine my surprise when during our mid-pregnancy ultrasound, we learned we were to have another beautiful daughter!  My image couldn't have been more wrong!  And yet I count myself so incredibly lucky to have two amazingly stunning girls!
Now, being a girl myself, I feel that I've got a little bit of life experience (31+ years to be exact!) that I want to pass on to my girls.
I will never, ever call myself an expert on anything because there is always something to be learned from someone else, and the process of learning is what makes life interesting.
I want to share some lessons I've learned along my own journey with my girls.
This, of course, is a work in progress.

Dear Audrey & Ellie,
These are my own personal words for you.  These are not rules.  I only want to share with you some things I've learned that have enriched my life.

• Dr.Seuss is a great and knowledgable teacher.

"Be who you are say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.".
This is REALLY great advice, and only a small taste of the abundance Dr.Seuss has to offer.

• Listen.

And listen well.  This skill will not fail you.  People love to talk, but genuine listening is getting lost amongst the words.

• Be confident.  You are an amazing individual.  I know this because you are and will be surrounded by amazing individuals who only want the best for you.  Confidence will be your most beautiful attribute.  Not everyone is in your corner, but I hope you will learn not to listen to negatrons (as your Dad calls them!).

• Love many.  Trust few.  Always paddle your own canoe.

My own Mother, your Nana, gave me this advice many times during my childhood.  It boils down to giving your love freely, but not being naive.  You will learn, that few people truly have your best interests at heart.  That's ok, because you will be a strong, independent woman.

• Don't sweat the small stuff.  This is a piece of advice that can be very difficult to take!  I still struggle with this - please don't ever hesitate to remind me!  If it will not matter in 5 years, then it will not matter.  Let it go.  It will bring you peace.

• Practice humility and empathy.  The world is full of people. Be considerate of others, always.   It is not always about you and no one owes you anything, so be a good citizen of the world.  You will get what you give.

• Be friendly and smile.  Lots.  

You will be judged within moments of meeting someone.  A generally happy demeanor and a genuine smile will speak much louder than any introduction.  You never have to wear makeup.  Ever.  Unless you want to.  Because a smile is all anyone will see on your beautiful face, if you wear it sincerely.

• Do not spend your days trying to be right.  Life is not about proving yourself and when one person is right, then another is wrong.  Just be confident and let others do the right-fighting.  You will have better things to do with your time and efforts.

• Be present.  This simply means that what has happened cannot be changed and what will happen cannot be controlled.  All you have is now.  Right now.  So make it count.

Finally, I love you.
Simply and in a way that I can never fully put into words.  You have made my life more full than I ever dreamed it could be.  Please remember that when you have a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.  Or week.  Or year.  Your Daddy and I love you unconditionally and of all the little girls in all the whole world, we got the two best ones.  How could we be so crazy lucky?!

Seriously.  HOW did we get so lucky!?!?

XOXO  Mommy

Barefoot Running OR How Not to Injure Yourself

About 10 days before I ran the marathon in Vegas in December of 2009, I went for a 16km mid-week taper run with a friend.  During this run I had a nagging pain in my right ankle that got progressively worse and continued to plague me during my last training runs before the race.
You would think that if one has pain in their ankle that is not resolving, that one should stop running.
At this point in my training, discontinuing training was NOT an option.
So, instead, I employed anyone - including chiropractors, physiotherapists and a psychic (not really, but I did consult my magic 8 ball...) to 'fix' me so that I COULD run 42.2 km.
Smart, right?
But short of physically dying or a broken leg, I was going to cross the finish line.
Unfortunately, this injury was not a minor one and the act of running the marathon actually gave me a rather severe stress fracture.
During the race I was doped up on 10 ultra-mega-just-about-enough-to-kill-you pain killers, and even that wasn't enough to mask the pain so that I could utilize my buggered ankle to run the f*&$ing race.
I found a package of Advil on the ground during the race and proceeded to take the wonderful caplets of relief at around mile 20, or in Canadian distance, 30km.
This is a true story.
I promise you this, as I had two witnesses to this act.
You may be thinking to yourself, "why would someone take unknown drugs off the road in a place like Las Vegas?".
Let me tell you why.
Because your ankle is SCREAMING and BEGGING and CRYING for you to stop because it's broken.
Yep.
Not sprained, or strained or uncomfortable, but broken.  As in, a little piece of my bone was obliterated.  And that bone happened to be an anchor for a rather important ligament.
Ahhhhhhhh, so THAT'S why it took months and months to heal!!!
MRI's, X-ray's and bone scans would eventually bring me to an orthopedic surgeon who would tell me that I'm anatomically not built to run.
Well, DUH?!?!?!  Tell me something I DON'T know and then fix me so I may continue to run...
What eventually came from this catastrophe (at least, for a runner it was a catastrophe), was that my physiotherapist introduced me to barefoot running.
She did a gait analysis for me, and explained to me that a heel strike is a runner's nemesis and the reason for many running injuries.
Try running on your toes, she said.
So I did.  And I can tell you that after my first run, my calves were on FIRE!
BUT, to this day I continue to run this way and have run injury free.  I run lighter and easier than I used to in my heavily padded shoes and with a heel strike.
I've included two resources including some videos about how to run barefoot, which is also known as natural running or Chi running.
They're very similar in that they allow your body to be in a relaxed and natural position so that running is not strenuous or hard on your bones and joints.

I won't pretend to be an expert on barefoot running, however I myself AM a barefoot runner and so I can tell you that thus far, I have not incurred another injury.
I've watched the videos and read about barefoot running and from the second resource, there are 5 principles of Chi running.
Number two is my favorite and is actually quite similar to the way I live my entire life!
EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!  So the same principles applied to different people will produce different results and that's just fine!
DISCLAIMER: I don't actually run in my bare feet.  It's a technique I use while wearing minimalist shoes.  There are, however, people who run in bare feet.

I'm including a really great quote that I know all runners will relate to.
And also a picture of lil E.
I sure hope my girls love running the way their Mama does!  ;)

I believe this whole-heartedly.

http://naturalrunningcenter.com/2012/03/06/video-the-principles-natural-running/

             http://www.active.com/women/Articles/5-Elements-of-Chi-Running.htm

Here's Vitamin E tucked in at 3:50am.
I love her to bits even then!

Sooooo, you wanna be a runner...

A good friend of mine recently asked me for some advice about running.  I don't consider myself an expert, by any means, but I guess 15 years of running and countless races have given me a bit of experience and I definitely know what works for me!

The first thing to consider is gear.  I've never been much of a shopper, so I tend to wear out my clothes before I purchase more!  I've posted a photo of what I wear for 10km or less.  The only thing missing is socks, and my faves are double layer from the Running Room.
My go-to store for running attire is called One Tooth.  There is a store in West Edmonton and one in St Albert.  Their clothing is LuLu-ish, but not as price-y and lasts forever!  (Probably why I like it...less shopping!).  I also tend to wear shirts I've earned from the races I've run.  They're something of a badge of honor, and it's really bad luck to wear a shirt from a race you didn't run...or so they say...
I invest my money in two places.  My running bras and my running shoes.  Both can make or break your running experience.  I've worn the same shoes for years - Mizuno Wave Rider, but have had to switch to Saucony Kinvara as a less padded shoe.  I'll try to elaborate on minimalist running another time - but I'm very new to barefoot running and I should do a little research!
Shoes are very personal and the best way to find your shoes is to go to a store - Running Room, United Cycle and Track & Trail employ runners and can help you into a pair of shoes that you will race home to put on and run in.  At least, that's what I always do! ;)
If you're a gal, then a running bra is important too.  Especially if you are gifted in the chest department, as I am.  Don't be jealous, we all have special attributes!
Running bras have come a LONG way in the years that I've been a runner.  I used to be a double bra uni kinda girl, but no one needs to run with a boob-tube anymore!  One of my first experiences trying on running bras included me, in a changing room, with a bra that was so tight that my right arm was virtually glued to the side of my head and my body was twisted and tangled into a Cirque du Soleil contortionist pose.  I nearly yelled for help and a pair of scissors.  I know if you've been running for any amount of time, you've had the same experience.  Sweaty-too-tight-bra-trying-on is just one of the trials that binds runners together!
You might also notice in the picture a rather large watch.  Yes.  That's a friggin watch.  And as you might be asking yourself, my left arm is much larger and stronger than my right because of it.  It's a Garmin GPS watch and it's something of a relic, as there have been many newer, smaller models released.  If you're reading this, Garmin people, I could use a new one!
A GPS watch will log your run.  It will tell you how far you've run, how much incline you've gained/lost and how many calories you've burned.  I'm sure it does much more than that, but those are my favorite applications.  It will also track your run/walk times.  This is actually why I wear it.  I'm a 10:1 runner.  I run for 10 minutes and walk for 1.
I also listen to music. I know.  It's dangerous.  Whatever.  Ke$ha and Brit keep my pace up.

Pile of sweaty running gear - missing socks...whoops!

After you've got your gear figured out, you are ready to head out!
The hardest thing about being a runner is getting your butt out the door. Once you're out there, it's actually quite easy. One step in front of the other! That's all there is to it!
As for run/walking, I really do believe in the Running Room and Jeff Galloway running programs, which both employ run/walking.
When I am easing back into running, say, after having a baby or a serious injury, I tend to run/walk for equivalent times. 1 minute:1 minute. Then I add a minute of running every week until I'm up to 10 and 1.
If you're not familiar with run/walking, then you might think that during a race this technique will cause you to have a slower time.
Not true at all.
You do not saunter during your walk breaks! You hustle! But this break allows you to have a little bit more pep in your step when you are up and running again and also decreases injury. There are studies about this, but I don't have the energy to dig them up...sorry. Just trust me on this one.
Once you've become totally addicted to running and haven't quite grasped how you lived so long without doing it (wha? that's just me? oh...), you will want to register for a race.
There is NO better motivator than an investment in a race. Especially if this investment includes plane tickets and a hotel room for a night or four. If you register for a half marathon six months from now, be damned if you won't complete it because your name will appear on the registration list for all to see!
And finally, if you've registered and trained for a race, then just get yourself to the start line. You might as well consider yourself a racer at that point because you WILL finish the race. Standing in the herd of runners, often huddling in scanty clothing at 6 or 7 on a chilly morning, you will feel like part of an exclusive club. And you are. You are a bonified runner.
NOT a jogger. What an insult! We are not leisurely bounding around, we are RUNning, and with purpose. NOT. F-ING. JOGGING.
That is all.

I thought I should include a picture of my super cute babes while they took a nap today. I knew you'd wanna see 'em.

www.runningroom.com
www.onetoothyoga.com
www.garmin.com
www.jeffgalloway.com
www.unitedcycle.com
www.trackntrail.ca

Just givin' props...

Puttin' it Out There

The girls and I have been away for the past three weeks vacationing with my Mom and Dad.  We've travelled together in their motorhome and miraculously, we've managed to stay friends!
Even more than that, we've created memories for the girls and I that will last a lifetime.
We visited family in Saskatchewan and attempted to enjoy the sunshine, however, we were only able to take in a handful of sunny days as the torrential downpour and storm warnings rain seemed to follow us everywhere.
Fortunately, with all the help I had to take care of my munchkins, I was able to do ALOT of exercising.  I ran, biked and did makeshift bootcamp workouts.  I even had my Dad do a couple of bootcamp workouts with me.  He did.............ok. Love ya Dad!
One of my runs was an 8.4km trek across the great plain of Saskatchewan.  Although I know that it's flat, (I mean really flat.  I mean there were several times I could see far, far ahead of me into the distance.  Like, really, really flat.) I still get nervous to do a distance that is further than I have run recently.  I couldn't help but think that only 1.5 years ago I would have turned around and run 8.4km 4 more times!  That is a crazy thought.  And also my ultimate goal.
I aspire to run another marathon.  But this time I would like to be lighter.  And, hopefully faster.
I would like to be kinder to my body.  This body that has never let me down, although I have asked it to run, bike, swim, burpee, jack squat, lunge, pushup etc. deserves more from me.
My girls and husband deserve more from me.  I deserve more.
During our beach days, I couldn't help but notice body types.  And I've come to appreciate the truly fit bods, as I will be on my own journey for the next year to become an envied body on the beach.  I want to be the "Wow, I can't believe she has two kids!" gal.  ;)
To get fit is only one step.  To maintain fitness is forever.
I've exercised my whole life and although I've never been slim (which is NOT my goal), I've also never been at a healthy weight for any lengthy amount of time.

Here are my girls.
Having girls will force one to consider what kind of role model one wants to be.
They are so young and beautiful and are not yet tainted by the ridiculous expectations of the cruel, vain world.
I know it's naive to believe that they will never diet or try to change the way they look, but I want them to always know that their Mom & Dad love them always.  No matter how they look.
I think that for me, it will be important to demonstrate how to live a healthy, active lifestyle.  To show them that nothing in life worth having is easy.  That taking care of our bodies is far more important that how they look.

These girls deserve the best me that I can give them, and that means that I must take care of me.

Aren't they fantastic??

My Natural Water Birth

So, 10 days after my ESTIMATED due date, Miss Ellie Connor Adams entered peacefully into the world.  Here's my labour & birth story.

Friday evening.  Overdue day 9.  My hubby and I decided to go to a movie in the city and leave Miss A with her Nana and Papa, since they would be with us until Tuesday.  We thought we would take advantage of the help, and go on a date while there were still only three of us.
During the movie, I started having some mild contractions that were around 6 minutes apart, but not very intense.  Came home, went to bed, but only two contractions woke me in the night.  This  had been happening for weeks.  I was not getting too excited, even though by then I was 10 days overdue.
On the morning of day 10, a Monday, my husband went to work, my Dad went to teach a course in the city, and my contractions came back.  I hadn't been sharing my contractions with my Mom, because until then, I was sure they would amount to nothing.  This time I told her and said that we should pack up A and head to West Edmonton Mall to walk so that I could try and gain some momentum.

I had an appointment for a non-stress test at the Sturgeon hospital at 1pm that day, so we walked around the mall, shopped, had lunch and then headed to the hospital.  My contractions were actually getting stronger and had a pattern!  My body was actually doing what it was supposed to do - naturally!!
At 1pm, I was hooked up to the fetal monitor at the Sturgeon, while my Mom waited in the car with A, who was sleeping.  It was supposed to take 30 min, and then we were going back to the mall to walk.
Instead, I was there for 3 hours - which included several blood pressure checks that snowballed into bloodwork and the threat that I might have to stay to be medically induced.
This was my worst nightmare.
Both of mine and my Mom's cellphones were almost dead at this time (darn contraction timers!), and we corresponded with my midwives from the hospital on 1% and 3% batteries.  When they asked how I was, I told them I was fine and that I would come in the next morning for an attempt at natural induction.  This was at 4pm.
By 4:01pm, everything changed.
My contractions were suddenly very clearly getting stronger and longer.
As I laboured in the parking lot of the Sturgeon hospital, my Mom ran inside to call the birth centre to tell them we were, in fact, coming.
My Dad was on his way to the Sturgeon and Blake had no idea what was going on.  Save for a couple of text messages, he thought it was just another false labour day.
My Mom drove, in rush hour, on the freeway, while I gave directions in between contractions.
We arrived at the Lucina Centre at 4:55pm.  I called Blake, who was just leaving work to go home.  He arrived at 5:35pm and I was already in the bath tub.
Labour was intense.  Easily the most intense 2.5 hours of my entire life.  I don't want to say that it was painful, because I trusted my body and knew that this intensity was necessary for us to meet our baby.
Because I'd had an epidural previously, I didn't recognize the urge to push.  When I finally decided that yes, I think pushing is next, it felt so good!  It was a relief to be working with my contractions and not just through them.
I started pushing at 6:00pm.  Ellie arrived at 6:23pm after only two contractions.  The cord was wrapped around her neck and shoulder, but she was perfect.
My Mom got to be present just as she came out and was placed on my chest in the tub.  A dream she had, and I was happy to be a part of, as she was my support during the entire day!

Even as I write this post, it seems absolutely surreal that only 9 days ago I had such a powerful life experience.  Natural birth is in a different realm from medicated births.  It is calm and peaceful and just seems so 'right'.
If there is ever a baby Adams #3, I would, without a second thought, be delivering at the birth centre again.
What a profound journey it has been and we are crazy in love with our new daughter!

PICTURES TO BE ADDED LATER

Two Days

I am two days away from my due date.
I was induced 5 days before my due date with my last baby, and so at this point, last time, I was already a Mom.
This fact makes it exponentially more difficult to still be pregnant two days before my due date.
I am fully expecting to be pregnant at this time next week, and possibly for the rest of my life.

Well, I'm sure the baby and universe have other plans.  But right now, I feel as though I will simply continue to grow a baby into a toddler within my uterus.

Every woman who has ever been pregnant knows that the last few weeks of pregnancy can be very uncomfortable.  But the very last week, if you are cursed lucky enough to make it to 40 weeks can be not only the MOST uncomfortable days of your life, but also very emotionally draining as you literally wait, and wait, and wait. To go into labour.
Having never had this happen to me before.  I continue to wait to fall into this mythical period, called 'labour'.
Every cramp, braxton hick contraction, back ache, I PRAY will turn into the most painful experience of my life.
I am currently PRAYING to be in an immeasurable amount of pain. That's right.  If that is my golden ticket out of pregnancy, then I want it, as Smegol wanted that damn ring.

I am hoping that my next post includes the addition of another occupant on the planet.
Otherwise, I will continue growing this baby into a toddler...