May Day!

My due date is 18 days away.
I was reminded of the power (READ: pain!!) of labour earlier in the month when I had several days worth of contractions that lead up to prelabour and then fizzled into nothing.
It was ok, because I'm not ready and I'd rather this little peanut put on another lb or two before making its escape.
It was ok except for the terrifying hour and twenty minutes of hard contractions.  Contractions that felt and could be seen as abdomen wrenching, tightening that released for what felt like JUST enough time to catch a breath before launching into the next.
Goddamnit.  What am I IN for!?!?!?!?!
It was an unpleasant reminder of my last labour, over two years ago.
But my last labour was induced, and in so many ways, I feel like my last birth experience was somehow "robbed" from me because of the chemical intervention.
The day of my prelabour, I had flashbacks to my first hospital labour when I spent, what felt like hours, but was in reality not even one hour, crouched over an exercise ball.  Crouched over this plastic ball, kneeling on a hospital floor while a nurse held a monitor to my belly on one side and my husband and doula spoke encouraging words on the other.
Each contraction overtook me.
After reading several books about birthing naturally, I now believe that a hospital is not an ideal location for having a baby.
I wonder if the "emergent" atmosphere of the hospital that night, was in some way responsible for my own feelings of inadeqaucy?
While I am terrified and excited for my impending birth, this time around, I am also aware that my surroundings will be very different, and this time I know the strength of my body and understand that this time the hormones surging through my body will be all my own, and not dripping through a tube into my veins.
Hopefully my "May Day" comes sooner, rather than later...