Faking it

A few weeks ago, we celebrated Easter with my family up North.

My family has turkey on special occasions.
Actually, if you know my family, they have turkey a lot more than that.

More than any other family I've ever met.

Like, once a month, we have turkey dinner.

Ask my husband.  He loves it.
Except he doesn't.  In fact, he'll say, "are we having turkey again?"

My Dad mentioned that he needed to get a few things on turkey roasting day.
A turkey baster was on his grocery list.
For a family that cooks a turkey at least every three weeks, I thought this was odd, so I asked.
"What happened to your old turkey baster?"
He explained...
"I had an emergency in the garage."
 Of course.  Get in the car.  Let's go get a new one.

While I was in Fort McMurray, I ran out of my favorite protein powder.
I went to the local Popeye's because I knew they carried it.

The guy who works there, who is ca-ute, asked me if I was looking to lean out.
What?!
DUH??
Isn't every woman looking to "lean out"?
Cue nervous laugh - of course nice-looking-bodybuilding-guy.  I'm trying to lean out.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!  YOU DON'T KNOW MY STRUGGLES!!
Now, please, just give me my giant tub of birthday cake flavored powder, so I can get outta this place where I don't belong!

Feeling like I deserve to be in a place like that, or in the gym, or not at the back of the herd of people at the start line of the race.
This is new territory for me, and although I've worked crazy hard to get to this place where I do, in fact, deserve all those things, I'm finding the biggest struggle is making my brain match the place where my body is at.

Losing weight is relatively easy.  Energy in vs energy out.  Create a deficit.
The mental challenge is by far the most difficult.
And a challenge I must accept, if I want these results to be life long.
Fake it til you make it.  And so I shall.

I DO deserve to be the healthiest version of myself.
I DO deserve to have killer triceps and a new marathon PR.

I had to drop my bar a couple of times today during the workout.  I finally broke out my wrist straps, and took my badass-ness to a whole new level.
I deserve that too.
To be a badass.