I took my oldest gal with me to physiotherapy the other day.
The kind ladies who work there gave her some coloring books and crayons.
There were 64 crayons in a pristine Crayola box with a sharpener on the back.
SIXTY-FOUR crayons.
And a sharpener?!?!
I'm in my mid thirties, with three kids and I had no idea that it was possible to, a) get 64 crayons, and b) purchase such a large package that it comes with a built in sharpener.
True story.
I have also discovered that you can purchase a larger box of crayons than 64.
How many shades of green does one child need? Seriously.
But, am I stifling her artistic abilities because she doesn't have 17 shades?
I'm failing, again.
Damn you, Crayola and your plethora of colors!
The gym I go to is connected to the physiotherapy clinic, and I caught myself reminiscing about the first few times I started going back after baby #3.
(Am I ever going to get used to that?! I still think, "WOW!", in my head, after saying that I've got three kids.)
I remember standing in the gallery, watching the class before mine do Turkish Get Ups.
I put capitals on that because this movement deserves that kind of respect.
(Google it. You won't be disappointed.)
At the time, I completed the workout, but I would have lifted a light weight and probably been relatively slow.
Neither of those things is a bad thing, or makes me a lesser athlete.
I was just in a more beginner place.
Now, however, I'm able to do 25lb kettlebell Turkish get ups, and I'm able to do them relatively fast.
I can also flip a freakin' tire.
Lots of times.
And deadlift allllllllmost as much as I weigh.
Seriously cool stuff!
When I sometimes think about where I came from, I could cry.
Actually, a lot of times, I do.
This process has been hard.
This process has tested me.
This process has shown me what I'm really made of, and yet, I continue to underestimate my abilities.
I want more for myself, and to get there I'm going to need to do more than try.
I'm going to need to fail.
"You'll never know unless you try."
No.
I'll never know unless I fail.
I'm adopting this as my new motto, because today, at the gym I was inspired.
Like, really, inspired.
I deserve this.
I deserve anything I want because I'm going to put in the work to get it.
I choose lighter weights than I'm capable of because I'm afraid.
But I'm going to be pushing harder, because to get what I've never had I need to do what I've never done.
If you see me lifting more than you think I'm able to, you're probably right.
But I know that if I have to drop my bar, or drop some weight to finish my set, that you're not judging me for that.
THAT'S what I love about my gym.
If you're struggling, someone will give you the encouragement to get at 'er and finish.
Support is what we all need, really, and it's nice to feel like you're part of a team that wants you to meet your goals as badly as you do.
I heart Spark.
I'm meeting with my nutrition coach tonight because it's time for me to get into the nitty gritty business.
I've lost weight, but I need some new guidance, different guidance, and I'm able to recognize that the time is right for that.
Bicep. Pump.
I'm tellin' ya, I'm goin' after it!
And maybe some abs, but we'll see how much sugar I'm willing to give up.
Me and sugar, we've had a strained relationship, but I think we can work out a compromise.
If you read my blog and you've ever felt inspired or motivated, that's amazing, thank you!
Everyone needs that!
Know that I take inspiration as I need it too, because I'm not quite where I'd like to be, but I'm close.
I've stopped calling it a journey, because that implies that there is a final destination.
And now I know, that I've always been here.
I'm the same.
I'd just like to see a bicep hump...
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