D'you know how you repeatedly resolve to start fresh on a Monday, so you think to yourself, OK, self, we're going to eat trash on this fine Sunday evening, because tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow I am ON!
And then later that evening you have that tiny, or humongous feeling of dread, like, oh shit, I ate all that delicious trash food, and now I can't have anymore for the foreseeable future...shitshitshitshit...
Well, the thing about macros, is that you don't have to have that feeling anymore.
WAAAAALA!!
So, the thing is, I myself am still trying to remember this, and I don't have to beat myself up over a weekend, or a couple of lousy days, or hell, maybe even a lousy couple of weeks. It's OK. My clothes are going to be real clear about the consequences of my choices, but I don't have to feel badly about it. Talk about a victory, right?! If there's one lesson from this I want to keep forever, it's this. I'm tired of telling myself I'm crap, because my body might not look how I want it. The way I look does not dictate the person I am.
I've chatted with a few people this summer, and I feel like every summer we all find the same thing. It is hard to follow a nutrition regime during summer. It is! I get it! There's drinking, and BBQs, and parties, and picnics and festivals and don't even get me started on mini donuts and ice cream and and and...
Can you make wise choices all summer long? Of course. If you indulge in every mini donut truck you find, is that OK too? Of course. It's your damn life, and your choices, but there are consequences, so simply be aware and do not, for the love of everything good and holy, feel badly about yourself. There isn't one unhealthy choice that can't be undone with a few weeks or a couple of solid months of macro tracking.
I've indulged this summer. I've had beer, and junk and made some of the greatest memories with my family while enjoying my food choices. I've also had days where I've packed my lunch and snacks and turned down the noshing at the event. Made the choice to track smartly one day, and not tracked one damn thing the very next. It's cool. I'm cool with the choices I've made.
Where to next, though, amiright?
I need a goal. Some direction. I've needed it for sometime now, since I'm not registering for races anymore. Aimless is not a great place to be. I need purpose.
January 2018.
I will be standing, alone, with a very, very talented photographer. She will be capturing, what will likely be the first and last time I will have, visible abs.
Visible abs, ya'll?!
I'm tracking closely this week as next week, I begin a four month diet. Not giving up all of the things I love, but dieting - eating in a caloric deficit. And then, once I show off and get loads of pictures of my muscles, I'm going to do a slow and controlled reverse diet. Gaining back some, or all of the weight I'd lost.
Mental game must be strong. Losing weight has so little to do with will power and compliance, and so, so much to do with learning who we really are, in spite of what we think we are. I've considered myself the token chubby girl for so long, and I want to reinvent myself as a shredded shreddy. (You can totally call me that for the two days I am shredded. I'll likely be wearing nothing but a sports bra and booty shorts for those days...in January...)
I completely understand that I will not look like a magazine model. I have a thick waist. I have big, bulky arms and even my abs will be bulge-y. My tummy will not be flat. If I start this journey with totally unrealistic expectations, then I will fail. I am honest with myself, and so I'm going to give myself a little more time than the average Jane. My body resists change. Very, very well. It likes to have more mass on it, naturally, and so I may have to fight hard to get fat off.
I have built a support system to rival any, and mentally, I am so prepared to get working on this goal. I'm scared though, too. Can I do this? Will I spiral? What will I do when people have negative comments? I know my goal isn't one everyone has, but I've written about this before - just because my goals don't align with yours, doesn't mean we can't be supportive of one another.
Donuts, pizza, candy - not off limits, but limited. Birthdays, Hallowe'en and Christmas. Not off limits, just planned and tracked. I've got this. I cannot wait to see this transformation! Here we go, Brandy!
No comments:
Post a Comment