Why Me?!?!

I am absolutely subject to this myself, but I am a believer that half the battle is in the recognition of the problem.

This?
The "Why Me?!?!", mentality.

Why is losing weight so hard for ME?  And not for others.
I get really stuck in the "not fair" zone.

It's not fair that I will have to be so deliberate with my food choices for the rest of my life.
SO, unfair, in fact, that to hell with it, and I am just going to eat whatever the hell I damn well please.

For one day.  Or maybe a couple weeks.
And during that time I will feel.  Like.  Crap.

It is only when I can be grateful and content with my choices, that I stop feeling sorry for myself.  When I realize that my choices allow me to live in a body I am in love with.  That I did not say no to the donut, or french fries, or glass of wine as a form of punishment or deprivation, but rather because my goals were bigger, in that moment, than the offer.

I say, in that moment, because sometimes those goals can become quite small in my rear view mirror, and I forget where I'm going.  I find it remarkably easy to fall back into old thought patterns.  Where I'm winning the big battle, however, is in that my old behaviours don't follow.  I am able to stop myself before I'm 6 donuts deep, and not a clue where the previous 5 donuts went, or even how they tasted.  This is resolve I've never known, and it's taken a lot of work, and I am so damn proud of myself for being able to rise above my comfortable, familiar coping mechanisms.  It requires a constant reminder of my purpose.  Even though this purpose isn't finite at the moment.  There is no date, or end goal.  This is just my life, and how I am living it.  And it is messy, and hard, and I am not always happy with my food choices, but I am more kind to myself over these decisions, and I do not throw in the towel for the day, or week, or month.  I just don't give up, because I know that it's not a race.

My thyroid is waaaaaaay outta' whack right now and as a result, my metabolism is in the gutter.  I've got around 7 unaccounted for lbs that are directly related to this problem and it is my #1 priority right now to sort this issue out.  Again, I am refraining from feeling sorry for myself, because I am choosing to be grateful that of all the health ailments one can be afflicted with, mine is relatively easy to sort out, though there is quite a lot of patience required to wait for my body to adapt to new dosages.  I am working with my most favoritest nutrition gal, and I have new goals, and visions and I'm just continuing on my path, sorting out my shit along the way...no pity party's here!